Oh, dear. The first thing I learned was right after my last post. I learned that my husband doesn’t know how to wash a really, really, sharp knife.

He’s lucky that at the bottom of that deep cut there’s the green scratchy bit that didn’t slice so easily. Or I would have been learning, again, about Ireland’s A&E waiting room. I also learned he never even knew he did this.

I learned that when I squeeze the old water and suds out of a bifurcated sponge, it squirts all over me, and the floor, and it is best to just retire it and get a new one. I’m thrifty, and will use it for something disgusting before I throw it out; but I’m not so thrifty I will put up with a squirting clown-flower for a dish sponge.

I just learned there was a bad car crash locally, and I might be going to another funeral soon. We were out driving about the same time, the fog was pretty bad. Hope I’m wrong about the funeral.

Speaking of cars and driving, I learned that black ice is quite possible in Ireland. And I learned my car is a deathtrap. It’s only my years of driving in Ohio snow that kept me on the road, albeit not in the direction I wanted the car to go. Warmer weather this week, new tires next weekend I hope.

I learned…no. I knew, but just confirmed, that I will never spell tire ‘tyre’ on my blog. I might have to do it at work but NO, not here. I also will not pronounce the letter Z, when spelling something out loud, as ‘zed.’ It’s a Zee, and that is that. I also will always say vy-tah-min and not vit-ah-min. I just cannot do it.

I learned that my Irish and English coworkers still know what I mean when I say zee and don’t even raise an eyebrow. Heh.

I learned that the socks that tried to kill me are about the warmest damn socks ever, and I love them.

I learned that after all the years I’ve done it, I still expect my animals to be freaked out when we bring in the Christmas tree. I’m either really good at having/training indoor pets, or I somehow picked ones that are entirely laid-back and mellow. We brought in a tree seven feet tall, nearly five foot wide at the base, stinking of tree and all the places a tree could possibly have been and of all the animals that could have possibly peed on it, or lived in it, not to mention the parking lot and van we shoved it into. And they ignored it entirely. All of them. Even the cat that never sees or smells a tree until we drag one into the house once a year. Not learned much here about them, just about me wondering why they are such good ‘kids.’

I don’t feel very edumacated this week. I’ll have to think hard for this one!

I (we) learned to get a second opinion when asking the Internet what temperature to cook a turkey. Dinner was meant to be on the table about 9:30 – it wasn’t done until 11:30. We were tired and cranky as hell by then. It was still really, really tasty, and we didn’t need to stuff ourselves into a coma when it was already soooo late.

I learned that my barley stuffing is friggin’ awesome. It would make a good side dish anytime. I’ll share if you like (it’s nearly vegetarian, only the chicken bouillon would need to be swapped out).

I learned that really old pumpkin purée, if not frozen because you can’t be bothered, turns sort of white and smells of bleach. But if you scrape off the white part on top, it’s lovely orange underneath and makes a good pie, even if you’re a little afraid to eat it at first.

I’ve learned that it is possible that my husband knows where a rarely-used kitchen implement might be located.

I learned that my husband was willing to try to make whipped cream by hand, when I didn’t find the whippy-attachment for the food processor where he said he thought it was.

I learned that he trusted me when I said I’d looked there, already.

I learned that I am still capable of being an asshole. Well, that shouldn’t have been surprise.

I learned we can get American Football over the net. Live from CBS. Go Browns!

I learned that nearly 8 years away from live American TV let me forget you guys are forced to watch commercials every damn 8 minutes. I am soooo sorrrryy.

I learned that American commercials are as stupid as they were 8 years ago.

I learned that the US pronunciation of ‘mobile’ as in ‘mobile phone’ now sounds totally silly to me. MO-bīle. Not moble. I’d shudder less if you said it like the city of Mobile, AL (That’s Mo-BEEL, for anyone not from the South).

I learned that I hate taking a shower as much as I hate having to go to work. At least the experience is shorter.

I learned how to upload to YouTube and post wherever I want! Just wait until I feel like uploading vids from ‘the real camera.’

I’ve learned it is possible to put away Halloween and bring down Christmas before December starts! Even when I don’t feel like Christmas at all! I’m not unpacking it yet, of course. I need a tree first. Next weekend?

I’ve learned that I still haven’t learned that when I know Lokii is going to steal and eat something, I need to remove it from his reach. I feel even worse about this after reading that a friend’s cat is in the hospital for eating a plastic bag. Lokii ate some plastic foam from a Halloween decoration and the fuzz balls off the socks that tried to kill me are missing. I knew better and I still didn’t move these things. And then I “gave out” (another Irish expression for you) to iDJ for not taking the tasty blanket off the bed every morning.

I learned, again, that I am still capable of being an asshole…