Socks has The Bigger Watermelon…

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Well! We are all still waiting. Still! Button didn’t come on the date I wanted, and didn’t come on the date Socks wanted, and didn’t come on the date the doctors guessed, either. Waiting… I feel as though I’m on hold with the cable company and listening to terrible music. Tom Petty, maybe…

Socks and I (and occasionally MommaSocks and iDJ as they wafted past our respective camera lenses) had a FaceTime session last night! I laughed unmercifully every time Socks stood up and showed me her bellah. It’s HUGE. She’s sticking straight out underneath like a shelf. She’s scaring people when she goes out in public. I really, really, want her to call a cab, just for the fun of it and pretend to go into labor – as long as someone video records the driver. I’m cruel, I know.

She was officially due yesterday – and I predicted she would be early. Pfft, shows what I know. I’d love to be doing a hidden-camera recording over her shoulder right now whenever any one asks, as they all are doing right now, because she is HUGE, ‘Soooo, when are you duuuuue?’

‘Yeeesterdaaay.’

O_o just looks so much better on a human face than in text. She’d have the top rank on YouTube in no time. Can you imagine the looks of terror, especially in the hardware store? ‘Look, lady, I can fix a leaky toilet, but no way I can fix that kinda leak! Let me show you where our garden furniture is, please? Just sit down for a bit and don’t give birth, I mean, strain yourself…’

I won’t go into effacing and dilation here. If you know what I’m on about then it’s kinda seriously intimate; and if you don’t then you really don’t want to know and the numbers won’t mean a thing! Suffice to say things are progressing normally even if it feels a bit slow. OH! I nearly forgot, this is something that sort of annoyed me and Socks both: last checkup, the doctor intentionally did something and then said something along the lines of, ‘That should move things along!’ As Socks related to me later; Um, excuse me? Did I ask you to ‘move things along’? No, no, I did not. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve stated several times I would like nature to take its course and the less interference the better. What the hell?

So despite her enjoying being pregnant for the most part, and having a pretty easy time of it, and now being quite damn ready to no longer be pregnant, thankyouverymuch, she still would rather not have outside encouragement unless medically necessary. A great example of what kind of parent she will be! Even if the idea of using the snot-sucking bulb grosses her the fuck out. It’s clear on the end that goes in baby’s nose, so you can see how much oook comes out. *gag*

Waiting… At this point, at my house, no phones or iPads or anything resembling a communication device is turned off, or put in ‘airplane mode,’ or uncharged, or out of hearing range. I can’t do anything else, really – the waiting, currently, really is the hardest part!

Damn you, Tom Petty.

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14 responses »

  1. Um, is she SURE that’s the bulb syringe for the nose? Sounds like the medicine dropper to me… 🙂 She should take the one from the hospital. They’re better than the ones in the store anyway, so I’m told. That’s the only one we have.

    I have to giggle every time you mention how grossed out both she and hubby are by bodily functions, as I KNOW they will soon be discussing the frequency, color and texture of Button poo. Yup, Socks, you will! We all do, and it’s actually important to knowing how baby is doing health-wise! Heh heh heh…

  2. Just thought I’d let you all know STILL NO CHANGE! Yep, Button does not want to come out and meet us. I’ll be induced Friday if she doesn’t make an appearance on her own. Tick Tock baby. I’m hoping for Thursday, it’s Summer Solstice and that would just be plain cool.

    • Uck… I know exactly what the doctor did and sadly they ALL seem to do that. At least all the births I’ve been a part of have. It’s a nice thought… but it’s seriously screwed up that they pretty much never bother to ask what the MOM wants.

      That’s why I always wanted a midwife and maybe not even a hospital. (Although my “what if” worry might over ride that) It seems like the doctors never bother to listen. I’m not going to go on because I don’t want to jump on the “These are all the things that could go wrong” bandwagon, but there were plenty of times I wanted to punch nurses or doctors in the face… and I wasn’t even the mom! It seemed like no matter how often we told the doctor what the mom wanted the doctor did as s/he wanted. Grr! Sorry, that’s a huge pet peeve of mine.

  3. Pingback: Socks and Button update! « heretherebespiders

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