IT’S WATERMELON TIME! Finally, the last fruit. And the biggest one! And the one I giggle at the most! I asked if there was one more fruit in the list, just in case she went overdue – and Socks said, ‘What are they going to say at this point? A bigger watermelon?’

Well, folks, this is quite likely to be the last ‘Socks Has…’ post. She’s coming to her due date very soon, and as of yesterday her daughter was making moves toward the exit. My prediction on the baby poll is Tuesday the 12th at 8 am. Any betting people in the house? Fancy a flutter?

I like that date because in Europe, her birthday will be 12/6/12. How cool is that? I picked 8 am because, while Socks is a morning person and gets up at the ass-crack of dawn, she’ll be tired, so a little lie-in while lying-in seems like a good bet. Of course her cousin had to go and ‘The Price is Right’ me and went for the same day at 8:01. Humph. I guess he thinks she’s lazy.

In any case, I’ll be damned surprised if next Thursday rolls around and there are still only two people in their house. We will see, we will see…in the meantime, my phone is fully charged and near to hand at all times (currently, keeping out of this crazy hot sun by lying in the cool grass under my shorts, which I am not wearing, obviously. Be glad this isn’t a video-blog). Just in case. Oh man, I’m gonna scare the shorts off my co-workers if ‘the call’ comes when I’m in the office! I know I’ll scream like that fella on the roller coaster. You know, like this guy. Maybe with less use of the F word, because I’ll be happy, after all.

Momma Socks is coming tomorrow, and I think she might be a bit early but welcome nonetheless. There’s still a few bits and bobs to be done, because at this point poor Socks has given up on doing much more than a couple of things in one day. Getting into a comfortable position is hard enough work right about now.

Oh! Last belly pictures, too: stolen from her blog with weeks of cooking helpfully labelled. Aw.


And a reminder of those ‘Socks Has A Lime’ days, now long gone by:

SAME SHIRT. A little harder to get in and out of recently. Like, needing assistance and probably having to sit on the floor with her arms over her head screaming ‘Get it off me! Get it offffff!’

I have to share the pic of her diaper bag, which she only got yesterday – because it looks nothing like a diaper bag:

It’s actually really pretty, and very classy. Of course it is; it has to match Socks! It will be a shame to put poopy diapers and sticky bottles into this bag. I’ll just start picturing it now as being full of damp Cheerios.

The last bits I want to share are some examples of Socks’ and Bear’s fabulous communication skills. Firstly, they have agreed that while Bear will be in the delivery room, he stays on the ‘waist-up’ side of her body. Some things cannot be unseen. I agree totally – he doesn’t need, or want to, see everything. She’ll be happier, he’ll be happier. The other one… might seem a bit odd. But not to me, or either of them. Socks asked her hubby about breast feeding etiquette, at home. She expects to do a lot of the nursing in private, but of course that won’t always be practical. So, she asked if it would bother him if she breastfed on the couch, next to him – would it bother him? Now, before you get righteous about this I have to explain: they do not ‘share’ bodily functions. At all. No farting into the couch. No peeing with the door open. Nothing. (Soooo not like my family!!!) They’ve been married 12 years and they have kept this one thing private between them. It makes perfect sense, then, to ask if a new thing which is also a natural bodily function is okay for family viewing. Because they are such good communicators the question had to be asked!

He looked at her like she was wearing a green party hat with sparkly blue smoke coming out of the top and said, ‘Of course! Why wouldn’t you?!?’

And that’s my storytelling done…

Love you to bits, Socks, and I’m so happy you took me along with you on this very personal journey. I never thought I would enjoy the process so much. I’ve never felt so close to a child I’ve never met, and I feel closer to you than ever. Thank you for letting me talk about your experience here, and have a laugh at your (and Bear’s) expense. I’ve learned so much – about you, about him, about children, and about myself.

The next stage starts soon, and I know you’re going to be some of the best parents ever. I hope the birth doesn’t hurt too much for too long – I know, that you know, that it will all be worth it.

And we all get to meet Button any day now! Roll on the 12th ๐Ÿ™‚

28 responses »

  1. Exciting! I’ll miss the “Socks has…”-posts, but I’m sure she’ll be glad to get buttons out of her belly. Because it looks HUUUUUUGE. Thats one big watermelon!

    And socks and bears relation sounds like me and my boyfriend. We don’t pee with the door open, or fart on the couch or anything like that. Haha.

    I hope everything will go well during the ‘giving birt part’. Can’t wait till the next update about Socks and Buttons!

    • What?!? No overly – intimate moments? Hmm. Maybe I do what I do because farting was ok, and funny, in my childhood – but seeing my parents naked, or even in their underwear, was not ok. Socks’ mom has NO concept of personal space. She will try to have a whole conversation through a closed bathroom door… even I would ask her to please, please go away!
      I have stomach issues and only one indoor toilet! Soooooo…. “hey, stop sitting there goofing around on your iPhone, I’m about to have a major accident!”

      • HAHAHAHA, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help but laugh at that last part. Sorry!
        We sometimes talk through closed doors, when someone is on the toilet. But that’s only stuff that can’t wait. Like “don’t forget to do this, or that”. “Hurry up, I gotta pee!”

        I know people, or friends. More like classmates. I don’t know what they are. They talk to you, whole conversations while they are on the toilet. Or they pee with the door open. THEY HAVE NO SHAAAME.

        But farts are funny. At least, that’s how I grew up.

        • My cousins grew up in a house of 6people with ONE potty!! So to them, going poo while someone else is in the shower is just normal. I WOULD RATHER SHIT IN THE YARD, than crap on the toilet while someone is taking a shower. I have on the RARE occasion when we only had one potty, peed while the hubby was in the shower but only in desperate times and only after MUCH contemplation, a shy barely audible knock on the door with a quiet as a mouse “can I come in and pee?” voice.

          There have been times when we lived in a small one bathroom apartment and have had company stay with us for a week when I didn’t (read it as couldn’t for the life of me) go #2 till after they were safely in the car on their way home. Yeah, I have issues, but hey who doesn’t?

          By the way, I lOVE when you two get to chatting back and forth. ๐Ÿ™‚

          • HAHAHAHAHHA! You kill me. Shittin in the yard! Now THAT I’d pay to see. Just…not close up ๐Ÿ™‚ My limit is sometimes I have to poo RIGHT NOW and he’s brushing his teeth. He doesn’t care, but it makes me feel ill that he’s brushing his teeth with my poop-atoms floating about.

            FARTS ARE FUNNY!!!! Even Dianda says so ๐Ÿ™‚ Farting in your dog’s face is the funniest.

            • I can honestly say that I have NEVER farted in my dog’s face. I’m sorry but you know me and farting, not even my dog has ever heard me. Truly, the day you hear gas pass through these cheeks you’d better call the morgue cause there’s no longer a pulse.

              And as for shitting in the yard, you’d never catch me! I’d hide in the bushes ๐Ÿ˜›

          • Thank god we have one toilet, and one bathroom. And not a toilet IN a bathroom. But yea, I just remember that time when I was showering and my sister came in without knocking to use the toilet. I learned my lesson — ALWAYS lock the door.

            Oh, I know exactly what you mean! When there is company staying. It’s even worser when they stay for a few days!

            Thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚

            How’d your belly doing? Are you excited for the due date? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

          • You will probably have a lot more “peeing with the door open” times when your kid gets to be a toddler. I know I do. LOL. (Both hubby and I still require closed doors for number 2 though. LOL)

  2. oh Hun. It’s been a wonderful experience sharing this adventure with you. Somehow by talking over all my fears and hopes with my best friend, it’s made everything unfold smoothly. There’s no concern that can’t be smoothed out by a good taking over with your bestie. I mean, isn’t half the fun of living sharing it with those you love?

    I can’t wait to hit that video chat and lift up my little bundle of awesome for you to see. Soon, my dear, soon. I hope anyways ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. Oh and I forgot to say…
    Though I am very uncomfortable and can barely sleep 2hrs at a time before waking up fully to turn over to avoid more hip pain, I kind of hope she’s born on the 15th for the following reason. We were married on May 16th (5/16) so I think it would be cute to rearrange those numbers to June 15th (6/15). I remember my anniversary by thinking 5+1=6 so she could be 6-1=5. That’s just how my brain works. I don’t have a time preference.

    • Hips hurting? Thats new isn’t it? Have your bones gone all mushy then? Heheh I know that’s sorta gross ๐Ÿ™‚ Ok you can have your date if you want – but that’s FRIDAY?!? Do you want to wait that long?

      • No I do not want to wait that long but it would make my brain happy. I’m not number obsessed but in cases like these it’s a nice little brain package.

        What ever hip I’m laying on tends to ache after a couple hours so I have to switch sides. That started a little while ago but now it’s doesn’t go away when I turn over, and even lingers if I just give up and get up. 5am is not unusual for me these days. The couch is much comfier.

  4. I am overwhelmed by all of you wonderfuls. You leave such great comments and trust me, I feel the camaraderie across all the miles and time zones and it really helps.

    I just thought I’d check in and let everyone know that no, still nothing exciting. Momma Socks arrived safely yesterday and is settling in. She’s talked to the belly and told little Button to get a move on but I warned her not to give Button performance anxiety or we could be here for a while ๐Ÿ™‚ We have planned walks and swinging on the swings at the park. I’m actually really looking forward to that last one. What a great excuse to do something I haven’t done in AGES!!

    Another night of restless sleep. I swear it took an hour for my right leg/hip to stop feeling like it needed moved around every 2 mins.

    And Animalcouriers, I never thought of “Sockette” how adorable!

    And Dianda…pull my finger!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Yay! An unexpected update! I got to read this at lunch but couldn’t reply then. Hi to Mum! Tell her thanks from me for taking care of my ‘sis.’

      That hip pain sounds awful – I guess neither ice or heat help?

      Sockette is brilliant! Makes me think of the Rockettes, which is about what she must feel like in there, doing high-kicks all day!

      Maybe Bear can pull your finger… Who knows what might happen!

    • Ok, I’ve seen it waist down ONCE and I will NEVER do that again. So it’s best if Bear stays near the head. Even worse? I was 16! I’ve done waist up sense then and was much happier. Funnily enough the last person I coached ended up with one of her (unwanted I found out later) friends hanging out waist down. I was irked she was there because she hadn’t asked or been invited and was full of glee when she ended up spooged. That’s what you get for hanging out where the action is happening at a birth you shouldn’t be at! Hehe

      I feel you Socks on the bodily functions! I don’t mind peeing in front of Kent (although it took years) but anything else I don’t even want in near the door! Sadly he tends to think it’s funny to know on the door and talk through it. Go. Away! I’ve run out of things to say to express how much I don’t him near that door when I’m in there. The door is closed for a reason!!

  5. Pingback: Socks and Button update! « heretherebespiders

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