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Socks has a Plum! No, a Peach! No, a Lemon!

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The short story: Socks is the nickname of my best friend, and she is having her first baby. Since I can’t be there with her, I’m chronicling her journey on my blog.

Long story: go here, then here, and the rest are my weekly updates: one, two, three, four, five, and six. That will catch you up to now!

No, I’m not three weeks behind on my Socks + Button update. I am a week behind. But also in the last week, her due date got bumped forward a week! She had another ultrasound/sonogram (whatever they are called these days) and based on Button’s measurements, they think Socks is now due on June 9 rather than June 14. So we skipped a fruit entirely, dammit.

We’re both a bit baffled by the fruit-size similes lately. Saying a plum is bigger than a lime was a little odd. I guess the book writers have really small limes. They are saying at week 13, baby is the size of your closed fist. I don’t know about you, but my fist is bigger than any peach, ever. Also bigger than any lemon I’ve ever seen; I’m tipping into navel orange territory here. I have some big hands, I’m not a little person…but still.

Bear, of course, just says that of course Button is big: it’s a Bear Family baby. Well, yeah!

Bear is still in denial, or something like it. He needs to educate himself on what is going on ‘inside his wife’ and stop being so freaked out. Well, ‘freaked out’ is too strong an expression. He’d be more comfortable if he knew the medical facts, I think, rather than listening to his male friend – who has a child! – tell him that Button has gills and a tail that “falls off.” Sheesh, no wonder he’s a bit green around his own gills, if he believes that rubbish. He’s just still a bit unwilling to look for himself.

The other important business that Socks had taken care of is testing for chromosomal abnormalities. A bit of a controversial subject in Ireland – there is no abortion for any reason, so why bother to check if the baby you are carrying is fully healthy and normal? It was just a blood test from Socks herself, but a rather odd one. They didn’t draw blood, they just did a finger-prick and put one drop of blood on each of five dots on a card. Then they folded it up and shipped it off to the lab. Wow, huh? I’m fascinated by this, as is Socks – just how does an old dried up bit of blood tell them anything? Medicine sure has come a long way.

The ultrasound had a little surprise – at 13/14 weeks, Button is already sucking its thumb! The picture is clear even to me, and I have trouble seeing much on those printouts. Socks said she could see the movement ‘live’ on the screen, which was thoughtfully placed on the ceiling so she didn’t have to turn to look.

Nice – the best I ever got at a gynaecologist’s office was a smiley-face sticker on the ceiling. It didn’t help.

I almost don’t want to tell any more. There is some news that isn’t ‘bad’, per se, but of things that will have to be kept in mind for the future. First, Socks has a fibroid. They say that it presents no danger, but may cause her more pain than usual during labor and after the birth. Second, there’s an issue that may mean she is at risk of high blood pressure, preeclampsia, and that Button will be smaller than usual for its gestational age. Now, we already see that last one doesn’t seem to be holding true. She has never had high blood pressure – actually runs low – so we’re not worried there either. They put her on one baby aspirin a day to reduce the risk of preeclampsia, and she’ll take that until she is 8 months along then stop. She isn’t in any danger until 20 weeks at the earliest, however, so this early warning of the potential risk is welcome and I’m sure they will take good care to continue preventive measures.

She sounds like she is in really good hands, after all: a video monitor on the ceiling!!!

Digital Pet Portraits Ireland

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Digital pet portraits, any animal! All I need is a digital photo and in a few days, your portrait will be emailed to you in a high quality jpeg or tiff, suitable for printing at any photo shop or even to be put on canvas. Can also be used as your computer’s desktop wallpaper or your social media ‘avatar.’

Very reasonable prices! At today’s exchange rate Β£20/€23/$31. I do accept PayPal.
Examples of my work are throughout this blog, but here are two recent portraits.

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Red Dog has been Brushed!

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I did Red Dog just for me a few days ago. I wasn’t going to post him, not yet, but I really, really like him and need cheering up. I used a picture of a stalking dog as reference, but didn’t use the original pic like I normally do. I also put his tail up, instead of down like the working dog would be, so he looks playful.

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Oh – he was ‘for me’ in that I felt the need to have a bit of fun, damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead! But he’s also for my sister – she inspired me to try a few new ideas πŸ™‚

Clyde has been brushed!

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****Edited! I uploaded the wrong drawing!

I have to share my second commissioned painting with you! As I said yesterday, I cackled with laughter when I saw the photo I was to work from:

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Look at him! Oh my lord, what a little furball!

I knew he’d be a challenge, and I wasn’t wrong. This is the hardest drawing I’ve done yet. I hope they like it; I’m not 100% happy with it, but I’m also exhausted. Here’s my version of the ‘Jabba the Hutt’ lookalike Perisan kitten, Clyde:

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Lastly, I found a photo of what he looks like as an adult:

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Clyde has to be the hairiest cat I’ve ever seen, and he’s huge! What an armful.

Ivy and Stewie (Emma) have been Brushed!

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Okay, are we ready with the drumroll, please?

My first ‘professional’ drawing!

This lovely, cuddly pair are Ivy (canine) and Stewie (feline). Stewie is short for Emma. No, I don’t know why, maybe Bean will tell us. They live with Kim, a good friend of Nadbugs’ Bean. (Don’t say a word on Bugs’ site yet, though – this picture is a surprise! We can’t spoil it.) I hear that pretty Ivy is under the weather; please send good thoughts her way.

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I can’t wait to hear what Kim says when she gets her early Christmas present! I feel I know two of her furry kids quite well now, and I wish them all the best.

Me n the dog have dodgy bellies

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Ugh, something is wrong with the dog. Her stomach is gurgling and making loud squirty noises, but she doesn’t want to eat her food. She has free-choice kibble all the time, and her only t-r-e… oh for fucks’ sake, I don’t have to spell it out in type! Treat! Nyah-nah, they can’t hear me! Her only treat is a carrot a day. We’ve learned not to give her something special like the carrot when she gets like this though. Listening to the racket coming out of her belly is better than cleaning up copious amounts of puke. She’s got colitis, apparently, and I guess the few snacks she got over the last couple of days were too much for her. No Thanksgiving for dogs next year, sorry pup.

So! I am working on getting my ‘show’ together. Need to do a lot of printing. Of course I’m trying to do it on the cheap; iDJ has a nice color printer at work so he’s going to print what he can for me there. I’m 80% done with my little flyer, and have a list of what needs print-checked and what just needs printed high-quality.

I’ve also finished my first commissioned work! I’ve only just now sent it to Nadbugs. Sure hope she likes it! I’ve got another commission, for a Persian kitten that made me laugh like a loon when I saw the picture. It’s a tiny, furry, Jabba the Hutt! Looking forward to attempting him, going to be a challenge for sure. When I’m done, I’ll post both the pic and the drawing so you can laugh, too.

Oh man, I’m nervous! Hahah. It’s a good picture. She’ll like it. And if she doesn’t, I can always edit this post and say how terrible it was…

Socks has a Lime!

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The short story: Socks is the nickname of my best friend, and she is having her first baby. Since I can’t be there with her, I’m chronicling her journey on my blog.

Long story: go here, then here, and the rest are my weekly updates: one, two, three, four, and five. That will catch you up to now!

Holy crap! Baby Button grew from the size of a prune to the size of a lime in a week! That’s just crazy talk.

I’m all excited because in a moment, I’ll have a picture of her to share! One that illustrates quite well the whole ‘lime’ business.

We didn’t get our Thursday BS session due to Thanksgiving, but her house is her own again and she had time to send me an email update on how she’s doing. It was short but she still made me laugh: she had a craving for pickles. Ha! Hmm, I’m not sure that’s going to be understood internationally – in the USA, the joke about pregnant women is that they crave strange things, and the example always used is pickles (gherkins) and ice-cream. Yum!

Oo! Picture is here…just let me…hold on…a little bit here…yes. Ready for viewing!

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HAHAHAHAHAH! She said her smile was too goofy to share with the world, so I gave her a goofier one πŸ™‚ Love you!

From pies to skies

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Right! Turkey is stuffed and in the oven, the pies are done, the whipped cream has been beaten within a micron of its life. I’m ensconced in front of a fire with both cats vying for lap space and my rum n Pepsi close to hand. iDJ is playing his Thanksgiving special in the kitchen and the tunes are good. I could get to like this Thanksgiving thing. Even if it’s a few days late.

Huh. I just realised that I’ve managed to teach my iPad the difference between it’s and its, for the most part (it added an apostrophe to the second one just then). I hope I don’t start to trust its opinion. It got it right that time, too! Now, if it will only stop capitalising white I’ll be happy… and it just didn’t. Yay!

My pie filling looks lumpy. I’m sure it will taste fine, but they aren’t all shiny and smooth like I expected. The pumpkins weren’t pie pumpkins, and I didn’t purΓ©e them before freezing, and they were too wet. Oh well, something is better than nothing, and I’m sure they won’t be fed to the dog!

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I uploaded a few pics from the proper camera onto the iPad. Here’s my girl Neko about to drink the extremely nasty looking water in our town square’s sculpture/fountain.

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Them’s my legs. Just before this was taken, we had someone get out of their car to ask about her. We gave him a short lesson about the difference between American Akitas and Japanese Akitas. The easy answer is that if the dog’s face is black, it’s an American. If not, you have to register your dog on the dangerous breeds list in Ireland and walk her with a muzzle. I also told him the official name for her coat coloration is ‘pinto.’ cool, eh? I have an American dog named the Japanese word for cat with the markings of a horse. No wonder she’s a bit neurotic. You can tell she’s worried all the time just from this picture.

Here’s Lokii looking confused. He looks like this quite often. Compared to his ginormous butt, his head is too small, so I don’t think there’s a lot of room for brains in there. Poor Lokes, someone has to be the dumbest in the house, and it is you. Love you anyway.

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I took a couple pics of our sunset tonight, too. The color is wrong, I think it looked more purple and yellow than the camera shows. Rats. In any case, that’s the view out the front of our house.

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A little bit of sappiness, if you don’t mind? I’m thankful for every funny, smart, kind, artistic person I’ve met through my blog. X

Socks has a… prune?

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Right, so it has come to my attention that new readers have no idea why on earth I’m talking about socks that have olives and prunes, and heartbeats!

Short version: Socks is the nickname of my best friend, and she is having her first baby. Since I can’t be there with her, I’m chronicling her journey on my blog.

Long story: go here, then here, and the rest are my weekly updates: one, two, three, and four. That will catch you up to now!

***

Socks had another doctor appointment this week. Doc couldn’t hear the heartbeat at first so did another ultrasound, all is good. Baby Prune had…

Ok, no, I can’t call it a prune. I just can’t. Instead, I’m going to share the nickname Socks has started using in her head: Button. I love it! When she told me her secret baby name, I sang a little bit of ‘Button, button, who’s got the button’ and made myself cry. Keerist, I’m not even the pregnant one.

Baby Button (oh, that’s better, isn’t it?) had its back to the ‘camera’ so the picture wasn’t clear. The heartbeat was visible, though, and then it did a little jump! “How awesome!”

She’s officially due June 15th. She liked the 14th better, because every older person they told immediately said, ‘Oh, Flag Day.’ Socks conjectures that Flag Day used to be a big deal at one time, because we youngins wouldn’t have a clue when it is.

You’ll be glad to know Socks is HIV and STD free, and she doesn’t have the gene for Cystic Fibrosis, so Bear doesn’t even need to be tested for it; it’s one of those diseases that needs two carriers to be passed on. Oh, she’s also not anaemic, and doesn’t have to take an iron supplement. We think it is because she eats so well and would rather get her vitamins the natural way than in a pill.

She has switched from oatmeal and yoghurt in the mornings to Wheat Chex. I found this interesting as a few weeks ago she was talking about something called ‘muddy buddies‘ on FB. It was a craving thing, and that got her started on Wheat Chex for brekky. She knows what she needs! She says that since she has always listened to her body, eating now may be easier for her. She’s still not very pukey, unlike her whole family…

…which brings me to The Quote Of The Week, a new feature in my Socks update. (Those of you who watch Harry Hill’s TV Burp, please read this new title in his voice, complete with background singers.)

“I don’t know what all you pregnant women are bitching about. This pregnancy thing is a breeeeeeeze!”

After I got done laughing my hole off, she asked that I make sure the sarcasm was clear.

She’s only gained one pound (.45 kilos), but Bear told her that she’s ‘pooched out a little.’ Button is about 1.5 inches (3.81cm) and looks more baby-shaped. “A little like an alien, but not lizardy.” Button is growing tooth-buds, knees and ankles. Socks said the book tells her that every body part and organ are pretty much formed, and from here on Button nearly doubles in size every week. Important juices are being made in the stomach and kidneys, and if it is going to be a boy, this is when the testosterone starts flowing.

Bear still hasn’t come to grips with what is going on inside his wife. She mentioned fingernails to him and he started fanning himself as if he was going to faint. Then he got all panicky over trying to figure out how he was going to teach his child ‘life lessons.’ He wants to teach the important things, without screwing the kid up. Good luck, Bear!

Oh! I nearly forgot. The doc’s office gave her her first bag of free ‘new baby!’ samples and coupons. It was a culture-shock moment for Socks. Coupons, adverts for portraits, samples of … nursing pads? Bottle inserts specifically for storing breast milk? An itty-bitty diaper with Pooh Bear on it? She is “rallying against the typical baby bullshit” and doesn’t want this rubbish. The sheer amount of strollers for sale blows her away. There’s a ‘micro movement monitor’ that will let you know if the kid so much as farts in its sleep. Why would anyone want that? When are you supposed to sleep yourself??? Bear thinks the kid just needs a rag for its face and one for its arse, which is a bit naive, but apparently it is just crazy-mad the amount of marketing that is being directed their way now.

The worst, by far, are the breast pumps. There is a version called a double pump. Yes, that’s right, a milking machine. Just walk into your stall and stand there with both tits in it until Farmer John lets you out to pasture. Fuck off! She says one at a time is okay, but both? Hell no, she’s not a damn cow. There’s even a double pump you can walk around in while wearing it. Good lord, just what you want to see in Wal-mart. (I’m freaked out by the whole idea of breast feeding, BTW. Fine for you, but the idea of me doing that makes me want to scream.)

Okay! Long one today, no wonder I put it off so long. Oh, I’ve also been asked why I named her Socks. I came up with the name years ago, because she loves long, colourful socks – striped socks, argyle socks, even toe socks – and she always, always, wore peep-toe shoes to show them off. She doesn’t always wear peep-toe anymore, but she’s made herself sleeves out of socks to wear with short-sleeve shirts. The obstetric nurse loved them, too. So there’s why she is Socks. (She promised me pics of her in the sock-sleeves. Hint hint)

Oh. I’m totally, utterly, jealous of her new Vibram FiveFingers toe shoes. In red.