Category Archives: dogs

Oct28

Gearing up for Halloween!

Posted on October 28, 2011 by heretherebespiders

I’m sitting here with a smile on my face. It’s such a nice feeling. This is why I love Halloween!

iDJ and I spent about an hour this eve when he got home from work sorting through clothes for his costume. It got a little stressful, as nothing was working right. His stonewash jeans were too tight, and he needed something 80’s on his legs. What to do? Ah, trust in the resources of the SpiderQueen.

I found a pair of leggings in fabulous colors, and made him try them on. Oh, perfect! His legs look fantastic. He put on the boots he wanted to wear, and I quickly sorted out a shirt and the accessories to make a perfect 80’s costume. It says a lot about me that I actually still own clothes from 1985. Says even more that I can recreate the ‘look’ we wanted so easily. So he’s sorted, except for his hair and makeup tomorrow.

Except… for his junk.

He’s wearing tight leggings. Men are not meant to wear leggings. Especially not with just a t-shirt to cover their ‘bits.’ I told him that he was in charge of figuring out what undies to wear – he’s a boxers man – how? I don’t know. Nor do I want to see the experiments.

But! He posts this on FB:

Note: he always carries a man bag for his gear – another gender stereotype shattering difference I forgot yesterday! He has a ‘murse’; I hate handbags and refuse to carry one.

iDJ: My good lady had me play dress up earlier so my costume is sorted. Now if only I can figure out where to stash my junk…
Me: Oh my god. I can not believe you said that! Right, I’m going to have to buy you something that doesn’t show off your junk so well!
iDJ: Camera, phone, wallet with no money, hip flask, bible – that junk!
Me: Oh. Right.

Of course the facebook feed has gotten worse from there. We all knew he wasn’t talking about his iPhone! Braggart. I have no idea how to keep my pictures of tomorrow from being nearly pornographic.

To get our collective brains back into happy-land, here’s Dogzilla dressed as Spider-Man:

I spent nearly two hours working with my mask today. It doesn’t fit well, and I have to wear a wig, too. The mask has to be glued into place, and I’ll need to blend makeup to cover the bare skin. I’m not a fan of masks, but this one is in two parts with the chin separate so my mouth will work as loudly as normal. The functional mouth was very important because I refuse to drink Guinness out of a straw. So, there was trimming, and fitting, and more trimming… and I found out that my liquid latex has gone hard and mostly unusable, so the edges of the mask will be really obvious, dammit. Also, I have clown white but no black, and I need to blend in grey makeup to match the mask. Bummer. A shopping trip that includes me is scheduled for tomorrow, but I can’t get proper professional quality makeup locally.

I’ve not even sorted my clothing yet. Uuuurgh. But really, I love Halloween!

A final note, if you’ll permit. I’m a terrible self-promoter, I couldn’t sell heaters to Eskimos. However, in keeping with the Halloween theme, I’d like to give you directions to the MP3 podcast of iDJ’s Halloween radio show. It is 2 hours, recorded live last night, and really, really, good. You’ll get my references to Glen Campbell yesterday better, too. Go here: http://bit.ly/vJS8fD and, if you want the playlist first or after listening, go here: http://bit.ly/ts8gXY

You’ll hear himself talking every half hour or so, getting progressively drunker and happier as he goes. That’s normal for his show 🙂

Oct24

Why is my dog purple?

Posted on October 24, 2011 by heretherebespiders

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I took the Queen for walkies today, go me! The weather was good (not pissing rain or looking like it was about to, not windy) and I was up, washed, motivated, and looking out the window at 3pm. The timing is important, because the local school lets out at 3:30 or thereabouts and I detest walking Herself through hordes of tweens. She doesn’t like them, they hog the pavement (sidewalk), and sometimes they try to pet her, which really freaks her the fuck out. I’m not thrilled to deal with them either, though I do like it when one says ‘that dog is savage!’ when we pass, because ‘savage’ means ‘awesomely cool’ and not ‘vicious throat-ripping beast.’

We had a good little walk, with no excitement. She did get to go into the post office with me, a rarity. I won’t take her inside if there’s a queue (unless it is people we know). She’s a big dog, I don’t want to scare anyone, and our post office is usually chock-full of old ladies. The Queen loves old ladies. When she loves you and wants to say hi, she does this funny front-legs bounce which can be intimidating. She’s under control, but just looks a bit excitable.

Today she got to put her feet up in the service window and say hi to the clerk; that was good.

We also went in the Paper Shop, to see if my mother in law was working. She wasn’t, but I had a little chat with one of her co-workers on issues of little importance. I do like my town.

We also had a short visit with Chris. Chris is… not all there. I believe the story is that he lives in a home for the handicapped, but by his own admittance. He always wears a suit, no tie. He perches his bony butt on the windowsills of various businesses up and down the main street and chain-smokes. Some days are bad days for him; when you say hello he doesn’t answer and his upper lip is caught on a snaggled lower tooth, making him look a bit deranged. Other days, like today, are good ones, and he’ll actually talk a moment and ask about the dog. He never remembers that he always asks the same things.

On the way home, Dogzilla likes to walk on the church wall as it gives her a nice perspective to survey every.last.moving.thing. I lean and wait while she checks out the ‘hood. Today, I noticed a purple spot on her lovely white fur. And another, smaller one, near it:

I know the pic sucks. It’s just for funsies.

It took me a moment to puzzle out why my dog had purple spots. Then I remembered: she was on the couch with iDJ last night after dinner. He was drinking wine. Red wine. He spilled wine on the dog!

I think he could officially have a drinking problem… at the very least, getting it into his mouth!

Oct21

Bella has been Brushed!

Posted on October 21, 2011 by heretherebespiders

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I’m having a shitty evening. Financial situation just got even worse. I suppose I could talk about it here, but its too depressing and it will just make me angry having to go over everything in detail. Let’s leave it alone for now, as there is nothing to be done.

Instead, have a gander at the lovely Bella. Bella is a rescue greyhound, and shares her home with a fellow KIBIS member. We hope to have her and my girl Neko become doggie-friends – as soon as we find neutral ground they can run and play in together safely.

Oct5

It’s a dog’s life

Posted on October 5, 2011 by heretherebespiders

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It’s Neko’s second birthday today! I’m sure she cares. But we’re pretty ~~good~~ soppy doggie parents, so she got a carrot that honks and two rawhide bones.

Since she can’t have any treats that have grain in them due to her colitis, she gets a carrot a day. That’s it. I just know it’s gonna confuse the shite out of her to have a carrot toy. She really loved it, but started to pull on the felt leaves at the top right away. That is not like her – she’s 2 and never has ever destroyed a toy. Or anything else. Either I’m a really good dog trainer or have been lucky as fuck with my last two gigantic dogs. I’m going to go with a combo of the two, I do my best not to pick a dog that chews out of boredom. It’s a fine line between too smart and too dumb: smarter dogs take you seriously when you go medieval on them over an infraction of the rules. Too smart and they just do it behind your back.

The rawhide… We don’t like to give them to her. My poor Shade couldn’t have them at all. She’s never had an issue, but I’ll keep a close eye on her. We found some just the right size to make her happy for more than a moment but not make her sick if she eats the whole damn thing in one go.

So there ya go, my first post all about Dogzilla. Happy birthday, dogeen! I believe that for her breed, she’s officially an adult now.

May let her have a spoonful of Guinness later 😀

Oh noes! I just trawled through iDJ’s pics from Dec 2009 when we brought the queen home. I have to share the cuteness:

Aaaaaw, look at the widdle puppy legs! She was so small. Compared to now. Look at the size of her tootsies!

Ok, ok. I’m done with the baby talk. Just so you know, only baby animals make me talk like this. And even then, usually only MY baby animals.

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