Tag Archives: Brain wanderings

Totally n completely random.


I’m pretty much inebriated. Yay! But here I am nonetheless, willing to talk shite. Wait, shouldn’t that be nonetheless? Ok it just looks odd… I trust predictive text a bit too much, especially when in my cups.

I want to know when that miniature American flag appeared upstairs, situated in one of my coddled, overwintered, tomato plants. The veg is my domain, indoor or out – why are my ‘maters suddenly patriotic for a country they never lived in? iDJ has some ‘splainin to do. It’s not even July 4 yet…

So, em, why am I here, again? I have no real reason. Maybe I just want to test my iPad’s idea of what I mean to say against what it thinks I mean to say. Gotta say, it knows me and knows me well. It still tries to correct me when I type anyhoo – and just did again – but I do that for a reason! I want you to read me the way I speak – and I use slang, and ‘bad language’ all the time, every day.

I’m endlessly fascinated with the differences in pronunciation, common expressions, and just plain expletives people use in my adoptive country. As an American by birth who had a mother who wouldn’t even say ‘pee,’ or ‘fart,’ it is a real release for me to be able to say, all the time, the seven words you can’t say as listed by my comedic hero, George Carlin.

He doesn’t even get close to what I hear (or say) here, though. Yesterday I heard an Irishman put together the most impressive string of blasphemous complaints that I refuse to type it out – because at this point in my ramble it would just be crass instead of my usual take on a ‘bad’ word being the right word at the right time. However, I’m surprised that such a ‘religious’ and Catholic culture seems perfectly fine with words that… well, they are just words… are horrifying to so many in my home country.

And, being rather drunk – I feel the extreme need to share the best one ever! I’ll be polite for the moment, but be warned: anyone who asks will get the answer in the comments…