I was Hornswaggled

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Cheated, hoodwinked, swindled, bilked, scammed, duped, schnockered, suckered.

I knew it was too good to be true. I knew deep in the part of my brain that wasn’t grinning with joy like the Cheshire Cat that had just tripped the Queen.

But it was so pretty! Hubby said when he saw the smile on my face as I gently hugged it close, he knew we would be buying it. At full price. Well, almost full price – he gets 10% off at this particular shop.

What got me, you ask?


A blue orchid. 

Sigh.

Blue orchids don’t exist. Don’t get me wrong, this is a real, living orchid, and it is blue.


Nonetheless, it is a fake. The poor thing has cleverly been dyed blue. When it is done blooming, and blooms again, it will be a plain old white phalaenopsis or moth orchid.

Dammit.

The woman running the till also was in love with it, and hoped there was still one left the next day so she could get one, too. I definitely said, “I know, it’s so amazing, isn’t it? Almost looks like it was dyed!” 

Yeah. Because it is dyed! Oh well. 

Let my error be a warning to you. At least it is healthy and will be loved.

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30 responses »

  1. Sorry there are people who will do that to their fellow humans. It makes me really wish I could prove Karma was real. It would be nice to see them get theirs. Do you think the lady running the till knew it was fake or did you go back and tell her? Be well, have the best one you can. Our most happy wishes for you, your husband , and the two furry children, Hugs

    • Well, the tag only said blue orchid – so it told part of the truth. I hope she didn’t waste her money, working retail and all. There was only one left and the roots looked poorly. I don’t expect the shop had a clue they are fakes, actually. It’s why I’m not giving out about the place I got it from. Sure they just get what someone in purchasing decides to send on. It will be pretty when it becomes a natural flower again!

  2. This is interesting. I saw a video on YouTube recently about blue dyed orchids. Apparently they make an incision in the flower spike to turn the flowers blue (not sure if yours has a hole or cut in the spike) and the dye is absorbed and transported around the orchid by its sap. It makes me so cross when I see dyed orchids…actually dyed anything. It’ll be interesting to see how long the dye takes to come out of the orchids system. Have the leaves etc got a blue tinge?

  3. I used to dye celery like that. Because when you’re a dopey kid that sort of thing amuses you. Never imagined it would be used for horticultural fraud.

    I can’t find it easily on line, but there is a medieval broadsheet titled something like,”How a Friar Cuckolded a Dyer at Roan In France, and the Dyer’s Revenge in Dying Him Blue” [spelling sic].

    A beautiful New Year to all the family, two and four legs.

    • Celery has massive veins, and sucks water up nearly instantly. Orchids…not so much. I think I’ve messed up my tenses there, but I’ve been drinking for a while.
      No cuckolds here, I hope! And I expect that dying blue was rather fatal.

      Happy new year to all of you, furred and not so furred. It’s been an absolute pleasure to have you as a friend.

    • I will still have a lovely huge-flowered orchid anyway! Stick around for a couple of years and you might see her real faces:)

      Happy new year to you, my friend. Knowing you has been one of my high points of 2016. πŸ’š

    • It will, and I don’t actually have a big white one (other than hubby haw haw haw). It will be loved and cared for. I knew better!
      Happy new year to you, and all your human, furred and scaled family. It’s been an honour to ‘meet’ you and discourse with you. You are a treasured addition to my blogging world.

      • Ditto.
        It’s already past 1:00 and people are still letting of fireworks down here.
        One of our dogs goes a bit spare she gets so stressed.
        But it should end in half an hour or so and then I’ll be able to sleep as well.

        • Ah, sorry. My beasts are all very mellow – until the doorbell rings!
          We have a good Polish community here who like fireworks for new year, like the yanks do. The Irish do them for Halloween which really messes with the dog – doorbell and random loud noises.

  4. Just look at it this way: She’s like a woman with her ‘party face’ on. She’s not going to wear that much make up all the time, and we like her natural face just as well. Happy New Year to you all, whether two legged or four…

    • It seems a bit rude to force a gal to wear makeup, doesn’t it?

      Happy New Year to you, your lovely family and all of your quilting friends. My year would have been much less colourful without you in it. Looking forward to more in 2017!

  5. I love that you’re an equal opportunity plant grower, loving all regardless of color, ethnicity, or film-flammery. Happy new year, dear heart.

    • I love plants! To me they are as alive as any other being. I always tell them how pretty they are and how much I like them. Might sound strange coming from a no-nonsense person like me, but I think they do pick up on electrical vibrations.

  6. It’s sad that they felt the need to take the poor thing, already so very beautiful, and paint it in effect. However, your first line is brilliant! *laughs*” schnockered” – I’m stealing it!

    – esme pocketing the word and wishing Spiders and her clan the Happiest of New Years upon the Cloud

Thoughts? Gardening tips? Cocktail recipes? Don't just like and leave, please - I can talk for Ireland and would love to prove it!

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