Spot died last night, at the veterinarian’s. We said goodbye this morning, and will bring home his ashes tomorrow.
Sep22
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Spot died last night, at the veterinarian’s. We said goodbye this morning, and will bring home his ashes tomorrow.
heretherebespiders 
Heartbroken for you. Take time and heal. Much love xAx
Oh hell.
Hugs, and some special pats for Lokii.
He is very upset. We took away one of the litter boxes tonight – it was broken and we had two new ones on order. Don’t need them now. But he is really upset by the change. We need another Bengal.
We are going to see Bengal kittens on Saturday. A good place where she also helps greyhounds, and is a friend of a best friend of mine. I might make a human friend as well as get a new family member. Lokii is so upset, not projecting human emotions on him. He’s a Siamese so will always be good with kittens.
I don’t know if I’ll post it here but I took one last picture of him yesterday, on my FB.
Just went and looked. Sweetie boy.
I was thinking about when my late and ex died. He had been okay in the hospital for a couple months despite metastatic cancer — reading, listening to music, playing his chess games, flirting with all the nurses who one and all just loved him. He went to a nursing home where it wasn’t so good, and the chemo started kicking his ass and in five days he was back in the hospital. He couldn’t track reality all that well and was clearly in bad shape, and I kept just changing the music on his headphones. I was there through all sorts of crap with his oxygen etc. and called his relatives and then just sat and held his hand while occasionally giving him ice. And I thought, I need to make sure my phone has enough minutes. I let go his hand and turned the chair away so I could see what I was doing and put more minutes on the fucking phone and when I turned back, he was gone.
A few times since then I’ve read how people hang on until their families are away or distracted and then… that’s when they go. The hospice nurses say they think it’s because people will hang on when their nearest are still there.
So I wish he came back home, but maybe he was also most comfortable leaving when you weren’t there. He was very sick and needed to go… I wish you could have been with him too. Cats make their own decisions, I guess.
Lots of love for everyone.
That is a sad story, and I’m sorry. Stupid phone. It is how life gets in the way of death, sometimes.
I had to go home for dinner when my mom was dying. The call came right in the middle of the meal. She always said how much she regretted not being there when her mother died, too. The nurse on the phone said mom thought she was me…but none of us went back to the hospital for details. I’ve been kinda fucked up since then, actually. Death and cancer together do very bad things to my head. It turns out Spot had the bad cancer; the results came back today. So it was untreatable in any case. But I could have lived with the stinky wet poops and plant eating (to induce puking) for a while longer. He was still happy and playful all the time.
He’s back, in a really lovely rounded wooden urn. We think we’ll get the bigger version and put our good dog boy Shade into it, they loved each other so much in life. They were brought to Ireland by me 11 years ago, together. Losing Shade messed me up so badly I still don’t talk about him. Spot will be worse.
sledpress please be comforted. I have worked in a surgical ICU for four years, my husband for 12 years. We have found that people often refuse to pass, hanging on to the last shred of what could be called life until their loved ones were either ready and said so, or their loved ones left the room. Even at the life death moment many individuals couldn’t let themselves go with the thought it would harm a loved one. Your husband loved you. You loved him. He couldn’t go while you still held him. So when you let go his hand , he took that as your OK for him to move on, out of any possible hurt, out of any harm, to what is next for all of us.
My own father was in a coma but wouldn’t pass until I was on the phone with him and told him I was safe and it was OK. He died on the phone with me. It was my gift to him.
You gave a gift that hurt. I guess it still hurts today. But please know it was a gift. many tearful hugs.
You two will likely get along quite well. Sled, meet Scottie. His life has been an entire nightmare and he still gives hugs to everyone, anyway. He is what we in Ireland would call an absolute dote. Best of compliments.
And Sled? The most intelligent person I have the honour to know. She’s also had some terrible shit happen.
Thank you, anyone who feels so deeply and is a commenter on your blog has to be a grand person. I am honored to meet her. I open my self, my world to her, and if she wants she may connect with me in all I know, skype, email, comments, and as I learned from you facetime. Again dear sweet friend, do take care of yourself, know I and all here care. Hugs
You are going to make be blush now, Spiders.
Scottie, good to meet you.
I had developed a feeling that exactly this was what happened. I felt for a while like I’d been neglectful, then realized he slipped out when he could. Thank you for the confirmation. He still comes back in the form of a few pieces of music that seem to come over the radio at just the right time. It was very rough for a long while after — that was in 2007 — but I was always glad he was spared a long drawn out hospital horror.
You are a sweet understanding soul. Best wishes to you. I think you were a great comfort to your husband. Many hugs
ahhhh, so sad, poor Spot. I think he had a very happy life and of that you should be proud. Big virtual hug coming your way.
Thank you. He’s already back home, the Animal Hospital in Castlebar are our vets and their new cremation facility makes a bad situation easier. I know they treated him with the utmost respect and care. We had a lot more love to give him, but it was untreatable cancer.
Oh my lord. I can’t even. There is so much grief. Love to you all.
I’m broken. Thank you.
Thinking of you, dear. How are you?
It’s not fun. I’m back on my happy pills. We also took other steps that I’m not ready to talk about yet.
Awaiting when you’re ready, please know I want to hear. And may the happy pills help you. Hugs.
I know what you are going through. Heartfelt sympathies.
I’m glad I have people like you who understand. Thank you.
Only cat owners can truly understand, as with any pet owner.
You probably remember me mentioning that at one time we had 21 cats.
A few years ago we lost so many from feline aids it nearly unhinged us. There was nothing we could do and we were losing them right left and centre.
But nothing stays the same and things stabilized. You come to terms with it and learn to remember the good aspects , as corny as that sounds.
Oh I’m so sorry. I’ve had my battle with that disease, too. Horrible. I couldn’t do 21, it’s not safe outside here. But it is why I’m not a vet, actually. I was 15 and having to have a kitten put to sleep for that, and crying my heart out. I realised right then that I couldn’t do that as a job and not lose my own shit every time, too. A vet that cries like a 15 year old girl at every death won’t get much else done. I hate hate hate to cry, and I can’t stop right now. I’m lucky my work understands, or that I have holiday time to use at least.
I hear you about not being a vet. Could’t do that job other. First time I had to leave a cat at the vet I was at home on my own, the rest of the family were in Portugal.I had to stay because of business.
When I gave the nod to the vet I lost it as well.
And when I reversed the car in the car park I bumped into an electrical box! Nuts, eh?
We lost our first boxer dog to cancer. She was only 6. She passed away lying on my lap in the bedroom.
For what it’s worth, it will pass, trust me.
Oh my poor girl, what a dreadful sadness, after you’d raised some hope just a day or so before. I’m so very sorry.
Teach me to change my spots and be optimistic. It was the bad cancer, he never had a chance.
But from the sound of it, he was comfortable and happy enough to give you a really massive purr at the end, which is more than can be said for many of us…
He was still trying to purr for me. But I know it doesn’t mean he was happy, that’s been spoiled for me by learning cats purr when they are in pain, too. I will take it how it came, a little of each.
He was trying to heal himself. Purring releases endorphins.
Which is why I kinda wanted to bring him home to Lokii – purr machine and super-cuddle-buddy.
I’m so sorry , I know it is so hard to loose our little fur friends. You gave Spot a good life .
Thank you. Sorry I didn’t reply sooner, I had to make sure you were a real person! I get some odd balls sometimes. You wouldn’t think a simple blog like mine would, but it happens. I miss him a lot, hard to imagine 14+ years as best friends could end like this.
I am so sorry. My heart hurts for you and your family. Hugs
There’s nothing really fitting to say when something like this happens, but I will say that I am sorry for your loss and if you ever need to talk you know where to find me. I’m sending all the love your way that I possibly can.
I never know what to say at times like this. “Sorry to hear” never seems to cover it. B-(
It feels wrong to ‘Like’ this post… So you will forgive me if I don’t.
They say laughter is the greatest cure…. So… Daft cat vids!
Lokii isn’t the brightest of cats, but he is sticking to me like glue at the moment and he does like videos. He watched. Thanks.
And yeah, I’d prefer if people didn’t like this post, too.
I am so sorry for the huge hole in your heart, lots of hugs for you. Hang in there, call me if you want to cry on the phone with someone. I’m a good crying buddy.
Thank you – I can’t actually talk without crying so not a good idea. I’m very grateful for the offer.
Whenever you want to talk I’m here.
again I am so sorry for your loss, for all of your family. I wanted to tell you Milo was getting annoying wanting to being in and out of my lap at my desk. Then I remembered what you are going through. I drew him in and let him have his way of getting back into my lap. So much I want to say, so much I can’t. Best wishes. Many hugs. Lots of tears. Hugs
I know. As I said to Ark, I’m glad I have so many people like you around me right now.
Sorry to hear that.
Thank you.
The other cats always know. We had one that died at home in the night and the three other cats stood watch until we got up. So sorry. I still miss the departed cats including one who died 30 years ago.
I have so many I have loved and lost. Good your other furbabies stood vigil for the lost one.
So sorry for your loss, it is just as hard to say goodbye to a beloved pet as anyone else…
They are family. Even closer than most – I woke up with my husband and a cat or two. First ones I see every day, first ones to greet me at the door when I come home.
OK I “liked” it before reading – but it was a calling card in Spot’s honor not joy at the message.
He was a darling. More than earned his keep. Soft pets for Lokii.
I am soooo sorry, my friend! It’s so terribly hard to lose a fur baby. They are such huge parts of our lives and our hearts. I’m so glad he was purring for you. When I found Monkey she was hemorrhaging from her mouth and I started crying and crying. She reached for me and tried to purr. I held her has she passed. In one way it is a comfort in another way it isn’t. I know you understand.
I just wish they could live forever with us. Forever.
Love you,
Linda
Oh god, poor Monkey. Yes, I know.
The only thing I can say is if they did live forever, we would never meet the next one to steal our hearts away. I can’t regret that.
That last two sentences are …can’t think of the best word…just couldn’t be said better. I’ll remember those. You know we’ll all need them sooner or later. RC is getting pretty old…and really doesn’t appreciate Molly tossing her bone at her trying to please her and trying to tempt the poor old cat to play. Sigh.
RC will live forever via the words you gave her. And thank you, it is the only positive thing I have for losing our beloved ones.
So sorry. 😦 ❤
Thank you, dear. I know you know how I’m feeling.
Yes I do. ((((Hugs))))