Fucit Anyway. 

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I supposedly have conjunctivitis, also known as pink eye. Being as my eyes have been itchy as hell since November, and no one else around me has it, I’m kinda doubtful about the diagnosis. It’s meant to be crazy contagious, my eyes never turned pink or red, and I didn’t have eye-boogies. Just a lot of itching!

In any case, I finally got sick of it (pun intended) and went to my GP. 

With a list of other issues, of course. My bodily warranty ran out when I was 25. That’s when I started to need glasses, and discovered loads of other new and fun ways that a human body finds to break down. I’m a right wreck now that I’m about to be officially middle-aged. 

After the checkup: I had blood taken, skin issues checked out and okayed, a 24-HR blood pressure monitor (results normal, and I’m dead surprised at that). I’m on my second course of antibiotics for a wheezy cough, an allergy pill (I don’t HAVE allergies!), big doses of anti-inflammatories for my back (deffo helping), and now steroids (!) for everything, basically. 

I feel as though I’ve been to a vet instead of a human doctor, because a vet always seems to prescribe antibiotics and a steroid.

Did you know I really don’t care to take pills? Bwah-ha-haw! I’m good at it, but I prefer not to if I can. I’m now on…11 a day.

Back to the eye drops, which burn. They burn like I rubbed sand and cat-hair into my eyes and then dunked my face into lemon juice and bleach to rinse them out. It’s also thick and white and goopy and is so damn unnatural a thing to be deliberately putting into my eyes, I kind of didn’t do the twice a day every day for a week as I was supposed to do. It does help – but the cure is nearly as bad as the problem. 

With all of this going on, I never looked at the package for the eye drops properly. When I did, I laughed out loud – in my loudest, unladylike squawk.

  
Yes. Fucit. Fucit altogether! Fucit sideways with a barge-pole! 

Fuc it, I’m falling apart but at least I still have the sense of humour of a nine year old and can laugh at these things. And fuc it, I better put these drops in now and try not to cry all over the iPad 🙂

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13 responses »

  1. Damn, you’re taking one more pill a day than I do. I shall have to up the stakes… With you on not enjoying the pill taking, but I can get the job done by carefully not thinking about it, getting them all in my mouth in one go, and then sloshing them down with an almighty big slug of water. If I stop and think, my throat closes up and the bastard things sit there on my tongue tasting disgusting. Middle age sucks. Systems that ran sweetly for years without needing any maintenance suddenly break down. It’s the glasses that bug me most. I hit 45 and bang! Suddenly I couldn’t read without them. Now I can’t do *anything* without them. The arthritis is just a bitch. Don’t get me started on that.
    Got to love the name of the eye drops. It reminds me of being a child in the English countryside. We lived near a village called Faccombe. No-one thought anything of it at the time….

    • I’m good at physically taking pills – mouthful of liquid, head back, drop them in and swallow. Or if they are meant to be taken with food, I take it literally and chew to the point of swallowing and shove the pill in there, too. I have a bad memory and in general dislike being told what to do, so pills are an annoyance that way.
      The steroids are six at a time! They are smaller than Smarties, though, so super easy to get them down in one wash. I was worried about taking them, but so far no side effects. Whew!
      Faccombe! Oh my. The English do have some hilarious town names, though.

  2. My daughter is on these drops too – she objects (nearly five) every time I try and put them in but has gone beyond crying now to just laughing when I try (And she tried to avoid me). I’ll be happy when we have completed the 7 days!! Hope all your ills are soon better. Spring will help – this winter has been an awful one for bugs of all sorts!

      • …and things they say. We have totally solved problem of giving drops by giving them to her large “toy hare” first!

        • Aww! My niece is five, and I’ve not seen her since she was just new. I really wanted to go over this year, but…car. Sigh. It’s a shame, as I really wanted to see her at five, and I have so much more physical endurance than I have in over a decade! Enjoy your fiver and her hare! 😍

    • Or the husband. I swear he is worse than a child. And won’t do it himself, oh no. Torture me instead – the person with the least patience in the house! But putting eye drops in a cat? Nightmare.

Thoughts? Gardening tips? Cocktail recipes? Don't just like and leave, please - I can talk for Ireland and would love to prove it!

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