I have no idea where I’m going with this post so bear with me! Just again feel the need to write, to reach out, and see what happens.
First off I use the WP app to write new posts – rarely for comments – so it was a surprise to realise the update I downloaded over the weekend made a lot of changes. Hence the ‘ooo.’ There’s all kinds of swiping and whatnot instead of the Microsoft-training we all have of closing or ‘x-ing’ out of something. And man, just then: attempting to get the iPad to accept x-ing was a trial… Second time, it’s a winner! I love this stupid thing.
Stupid thing is now a year old! My iPad is a year old. I never wanted it, never even considered it as something I would need. And now? Like a Texan’s firearm, you’ll have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands. Yes, I’m teasing my Texas friends here – I seem to have quite a few and none of you fit that stereotype; I know it well but had to poke fun. Feel free to tease me for being a southerner myself, or an Irish drunk with a bad temper! Apparently I am both. Well, part Irish. I do say I’ve taken to the drinking aspect of the culture quite nicely. And I was born in NewJersey – go have a look on a map where the Mason-Dixon line was! Sigh. I can still speak ‘southrin’ any time I want, which entertains Irish people to a great extent. I think hubby only married me because I can do that. I need a south-Jersey refresher course, though – I end up sounding like Tony Soprano when I try. The bad temper is never going away.
What was I talking about? Meh, who cares. I have sunshine again, on a Monday.
And beer.
Woot!
Wait I need a fresh one. At least I’m not abandoning my empties in the grass like I did on Friday. Man, it was so hot that day my sweat smelled of beer. It might tomorrow at work. Whoops. I better switch back to rum and Pepsi Max after this one. It’s just…beer and sunshine are made for each other. I remember the day I discovered Sam Adams Cherry Wheat beer. I’m not usually a big fan of wheat beer but it was a hot day and I had plenty of them in the fridge, and sun and heat and no where to be. I reeked of cherries. It came out of my pores everywhere, liked I’d bathed in cherry skin-cream. Sort of gross, but by then I really, really, didn’t care.
And that wasn’t even the day I broke my pinky toe by sitting in the sun, drinking, and holding my pee so long that when I finally had to get up – about four or five beers later – I smashed my foot into some stairs and aw, first broken bone ever. I was close to 30 if not past it by then. Probably past it. Wonder if beer makes your bones weak? Or if having a massive-capacity bladder does? Ah well. I broke the same toe about 10 years later, just doing my usual tripping over nothing. Sober (ish) that time. Fun times… sad thing is, I used to be able to wiggle my pinkie toes independent of the rest of my toes, as a party trick, and that one doesn’t bend much any more.
Damn you, cloud, go away!
Better go back and reread and see if I have any point here today…
Ooo. Just hit preview and I have no paragraphs. That is bad…this stream of consciousness style of writing depends on visual breaks or I sound like I’m insane. Which is quite likely but I’m usually good at hiding it better. With paragraphs.
Man that cloud is annoying. Just wide enough to block my sunshine and make me cold. Go away, go away faster! Yes I see you moving, but move faster! And you! you, trailing behind! Move upward. Spiders need solar power.
Right, well, it appears I have nothing to say of any real import. I’m trying, I’m reaching out, because I’m in a good mood today and lately I haven’t been anywhere near a good mood. I’m doing my best to keep up a dialogue and even if it is me talking shite via writing, I imagine you listening and I don’t feel so alone.
Now if that second big-ass cloud would just move it along a bit, I’ll be happy…OMG still no paragraph breaks. Time to go find the help on this new app… Sorry… Will edit afterward so I make a modicum of sense.
heretherebespiders 
Oh thank fuck, the paragraphs ARE there! Whew.
Hey, we’ve just got our first iPad – nothing like being a late adopter. We did want one but couldn’t justify it until the blog ran away with us. The first couple of weeks have been good and bad – great cos they do so many fun things and bad because they think they know what it is you want to say. You’re worrying about rafts of text with no paragraphs – we were managing rafts of text either with no sense or not a single space (that’s down to a meatware problem). Lots of blogs will be looking at comments we’ve made and wondering what the hell we mean – we looked back and groaned out loud. Just about getting the hang now…
Careful with those toes, keep talking to us and get a commode for sitting in the grass with your beers 😉
You got one of the new ones? The camera on those is soooo much better than mine! Funny thing is, without the massive screen of the iPad, I wouldn’t KNOW its camera is crappy! I liked the old WP app in that the post-preview showed me the actual post, spacing and all, photos in their proper places, etc… And today, it was one looooonnnnngggg run on sentence. But the post looks fine once published. Ah, technology…
And I think my iPad has learned how I type drunk better than I do sober. How… Me.
Did you watch An Idiot Abroad? I’m at times tempted to cut a hole in a camping chair to make a portable commode like he did… but in my current job it sort of scares me to want one.
hey you–I’m here, just a little far away… glad to see you!
(and yes, alcohol does weaken bones–toward osteopor[forgot how to spell])
Methinks you got cut off short! But yeah, let’s see if smarty-pants iPad can spell it! Osteoporosis. Yay! Rocking the spelling 🙂 My mom’s mom had it – but was born in the 1800’s and had four living girls so… Maybe me trying like hell all these years to break bones and failing means I’m pretty tough? Until now, of course. Or until 30… I’m just really, really, ungraceful 🙂
From what I hear, it’s all downhill after 30, so you must be doing fine! <:-D (No, I didn't get cut off–I honestly couldn't even remember the end of the word, which was not surprising, so spelling it wasn't going to happen. But we communicated anyway, despite my 1/2 a word!)
Ha! I got half-way though and it finished for me. Beats microsoft to black and blue! I’ve been saying – for too many years now – that my warranty ran out at age 25. That’s when weird shit started happening to me – like stones in my saliva glands! WHO GETS THAT?!? Me.
Actually, in some studies, middle aged women who drank had less osteoporosis because their circulating estrogen levels were raised by the alcohol keeping their livers busy. A very individual thing. I find the idea of maintaining my own estrogen with beer rather more palatable than the idea of introducing weird alien laboratory estrogens into people’s bodies — though in my case, what with sled pressing quarter-ton loads regularly (just dogged it on 630 for 8 reps for my last set) this may be immaterial.
I’m more concerned with whether enough beer might make Spiders drop the iPad.
My mom had a hysterectomy in her 30’s – it took a coughing fit breaking a rib for the docs to realise she needed hormone replacement drugs. Which might have accelerated the cancer that took her at 57. I take more after my dad – probably too much testosterone. But, her mom had osteoporosis. With the extra calcium in my system building up in my saliva glands in my mid-20’s, I’d guess my cigarette habit will take be before I get soft bones.
Oh, and you jinxed me. I’d never once dropped the ‘pad until tonight. No idea why, it just fell out of my hands. I think my half-assed attempts to catch it made it hit the concrete step harder… the plastic case that covers the back is beaten up in two places and cracked at one corner. But clearly, it’s still fully functional and the screen is still pristine as it was a year ago.
Shhh, no bad thoughts about the screen, now! 🙂
Ow! Sorry!
Spiders:
Beer + Sunshine = Sunburn x Headache. Too bad they do make such a great combo.
Well howdy, stranger. Although I’m not sure why I’m replying as you never seem to read the replies… Yes, I would get a headache but ONLY if I stopped drinking a few hours before bed. Now I know to keep it up until the little death, or not start drinking in the sunshine.
Hello Miss Spider Girl! Another rowdy gun-toting redneck from Texas, here… hehe NOT! This is just the sweet and innocent 57 yr. old girl who loves gardens and great writers! haha I think you are doing quite well with your new device! I am totally addicted to my laptop, and anything new scares the crap outta me… I have a new camera, all pretty with all sorts of new accessories, just sitting over there by the chair, and I haven’t touched it in two days. Why this block about learning electrical/digital things, idk… I am just slow in most things… all things… E, you must be careful about the sun, dear, you are fair, hope you have a hat with you! In my late years, I’ve developed a couple of freckles I could definitely do without! haha Please do tell us about your neighborhood, maybe some ipad pics? And I promise to do the same, just as soon as I get the gumption or whatever it takes, to start putting that camera together… anyway, I enjoyed your session in the grass, with the clouds, “spiders need solar…” funny girl! Take care, be cool, and don’t take any wooden nickels… love, Cissy, yee-haw, wooo-hooo, giddy-up, and all that jazz…
Ah, I feel young enough to be able to work the new stuff they make, and old enough to go ‘wow’!’ Don’t be scared, it won’t bite 🙂 They make most things to be very human-friendly and there’s always the internet if you lose the user manual. Oh, look at me. You’d never know I hadn’t stopped drinking since the post! Hahah. Yep, clearly a functional alky. Ah well at least I’m legally high 🙂
Which is more than (… cough, cough…) some of us can say… Mine’s strictly medicinal! hahaha (I have a bad back!) (and some depression…) (and anxiety sometimes…) hahaha (cough, cough…) see ya later missy… C
Ha! Hey, I don’t care one bit 🙂 I don’t smoke anything but tobacco because other stuff puts me to sleep. I can do that juuuuust fine on me own!
I laughed reading this, you are hilarious, even when you are sober!! actually your commenters are an fun bunch as well!! LOVE IT! c
Aw, nice to see you here Celia! I know you’re so busy 🙂 thanks for the kind words – I try!
That’s exactly how I feel about every apple product I’ve ever touched…..So sad.
That you didn’t want it but now can’t imagine life without it? Yeah. I live with the Apple King but still, I didn’t think this doohickey would or could be so… important to me. Never would have a blog without it, or the art.
BAH! You already have WordPress for your iPad! The new version of Android still doesn’t have the wordpress app. And the mobile version of WP is driving my crazy.
Sorry! I did try to talk you into Apple at the time 🙂
Maybe apple was better! 😦