My Bengal Spot is trying to train me, again. I’m fighting it, but it is sooo hard…
He is nine- I think? -I’m not good at keeping track of these things. But he doesn’t act like it, he’s very playful and healthy. It’s just that he gets bored easily. When that happens, he plays games with his humans.
The easy game is ‘I want to sit with you, but I’m going to make you beg me to do it.’ It’s a long game, so he likes it a lot. It has two parts: in round one he stands on the coffee table and stares at the prime lap position he wants. Human talks to him, pats couch, makes kissy-noises, offers the best place under the blanket. He leans in, looks like he’ll come and lie down…then turns tail and walks away. Repeat 2-3 times. Round two of the game involves circling the living room doing bad things in order to get yelled at. He always goes clockwise and hits the same forbidden places in the same order: going behind the TV where the wire soup is dangerous, standing on the rickety DVD tower trying to push it over and/or reach my Peace lily, then back to the coffee table or the arm of the couch where he can leap onto the top of the bookshelf. He does these things deliberately to get our full attention. All we do is shout no at him, but that’s enough for him to be very happy and come trotting back with a smile on his face to sit on the coffee table and repeat round one. This goes on until I get sick of having to pay so much attention to him and not what I’m trying to watch on TV, and I grab him. Ah, the win goes to Spot every time. I’m rough with him; I grab him, shove him under my elbow, and pretty much sit on him to keep him there. Which is what he wanted all along. He loves being squished. The purring is deafening. Weird cat.
I recently tried grabbing him right away instead of letting him have the full game. At first, it seemed a brilliant solution. He was sooooo happy. So very happy that he got up and left within a few minutes so I would do it again. And later that night he was unbearable, wanting the new game over and over. Sigh.
He’s added in a new part to round two lately, and it is even more annoying. It consists simply of going into the kitchen and howling at the sliding glass door. Repeatedly. I am not amused. He sounds like he is in pain! It’s the most pathetic, woeful sound. The only time he sounds worse is when he has a nightmare – that is terrifying. I’m only guessing about the nightmares, actually. We did catch him twice waking up from a sound sleep and immediately screaming, so that’s our best guess. He never acted as if anything hurt, or ran to the toilet or any other indication of physical pain. But wow, it was scary – he only did it a few times in the space of a few months then stopped.
But the one that I’m fighting so hard against is the 2am ‘come play with me’ caterwaul. He wakes up, his cat-brother and dog-sister and both humans are asleep, and he’s bored. What to do? Wake ’em all up, of course!
Mwow? Mrrwow. Mrrwow. Mrrwow! Mrrwow. Mrrwow? Mrrwow. Mrrwow. Mrrwow? MMMMWOW! MMMRRROW! MMM-GURGLE-ROW!
By now, we are all awake, staring unmoving at the ceiling, and hoping against hope he’ll stop on his own.
He won’t.
My solution is to go downstairs, shut the living room door, go into the kitchen, shut that door, fill the nearest receptacle with water and then trap him in the living room to throw the water all over him. He never tries to get upstairs, and lets himself be trapped. He appears to enjoy it when I chase him around trying to corner him in a place I don’t mind getting wet. He doesn’t even really mind the water, but he has to shut up for a while to dry himself off.
I’m really hoping I’m training him this time, and not the other way around. He does it less and less, but I have a harder and harder time getting back to sleep.
Look at him there, all innocent as he tries to smother his brother to death in his sleep. I’m not falling for that one, either.
heretherebespiders 
You’ve had nine years of that? …..omg
Not in a row! He only started the midnight screaming about four years ago, so we got him a cat-brother. Then his dog died, and I was really, really upset and didn’t want another for two years. It was about the same time he had started the night-game again. We’ve had the ‘new’ dog for almost two years now, so he’s bored again. I can’t afford any more animals to keep him happy 🙂
and when they’re bored, we’re done with whatever we WERE trying to do: sleep, compute, sit, walk…
LORD!!! The only thing I can think of to say is —
No. I can’t say it. It’s the nine years that’s in my way.
I was going to say — I appreciate the companionship in this madness — But I’ve only had two years of it. Nine years has us beat, paws down.
This is the first time I’m here to leave a comment (yay, so happy to be here, have subscribed so hope to be here often), so I see you seek cocktail recipes. I can see why. My favorite is (1) Find the best margarita recipe on-line. (2) Buy the most expensive tequila I can find. (3) Use the most expensive tequila to make the recipe — but double the alcohol content. Triple it? Haven’t tried that yet. But after nine years I will probably be at the point where I’ll simply slug straight from the bottle. Cats off to your ingenuity and self-restraint here, my friend. Now I must go. Bottle. Bottle. Where’s my bottle.
Happy to have you! We’ve loads of common blogging buddies, so it was past time we met 🙂
Currently said Bengal beast is trying to fit inbeween my hand and iPad. Grr. Then goes and headbutts the dog. Then back to me….purr purr purr… He thinks he is sooo funny. It’s ten to five, I think I can have a drink now, too. I’m stuck with cheap rum, but it’ll do, it’ll do.
(Pssst, Spiders! Nadbugs is the one who started that punning session, did that hit and run!)
I’m going with the Big Mister to his family here in town. I don’t really care about holidays anymore, but I can suck it up for my guy! (I’d rather be at home, but there’s medication for that.)
Which reminds me, I think I’ll drink at sister Susie’s! Yaaaaay!
Hee! ’tis one of the reasons we had to be friends 🙂 I adore smart people – they are so few and far between in ‘real life’ but I’m learning they are easy to find online!
I’ll do a turkey on Sunday, I think, in place of our semi-usual chicken. I want to use some of that pumpkin I stored up but I’m not keen on baking – I know you’re good at it, but it rarely goes right for me. Oh! Okay, I hope you like to fly. Come visit me sometime! My hubby’s family has a bakery that is hundreds of years old. Not the current building: but the recipes are!
I would LOVE to visit you, Spiders! And that bakery–wow, I’m missing out! It wouldn’t have a website, would it?!
Off we go to drink. Oh, I mean eat!
Anytime! I know we’d get on in person as we do online. Nooooo, it’s a bunch of getting-older siblings, one in charge, and they won’t even let me in to carry it on. Sad, but still fascinating!
How about an unemployed US lady with her passport in order, international driving permit in hand, and an experienced baker? I wouldn’t even expect profit sharing!
I was sposta go to Italy for a month starting in February, but I’m pretty sure I have to shelve that for now. Read: money, economy, job. If/when I do go, I’ll be sure to come through your neck of the woods–there are direct flights from here to London, then a quick hop northwest, yes?!
(I did drink! When sister (in-law) Susie asked what I would like to drink, she started listing stuff and I immediately interrupted and said “Alcohol!” “I have whiskey or beer….” Interrupted again and practically shouted “whiskey!” She went into a back room where she has stashed a bottle of whiskey! The Big Mister was really surprised and now that we’re home, was recommending that I drink lots of water so I don’t have a headache in the a.m. Hey! I wasn’t born yesterday! And I didn’t have that much!)
Hope you reached your family as planned, with drink in hand!
Cloggin’ of the Blog–maybe that should be my blog title!
I did?? Sheesh. I don’t remember. Where’s that bottle.
You DID, Your Saladness! We are all witnesses, and reliable, too!
Oh! Gak. Can you believe it, I was so bothered about not remembering this, I could not rest until I actually back-checked. [NOBODY better say “get a life,” please.] I found it was Confessions who started it, actually. I blame her. Oh yes. She was the first. “Feline happy about it.” Her fault! I was under undue influence! She made me do it!
Ha! I will never regret a pun or forget where I dropped it 🙂 We wordy folk should cherish them like the Seussian treasures they are!
Why am I not surprised about who REALLY started it?! Was she also the one who said, “I blame Nadbugs.”? YES! Oooo, way to deflect, Minlit!
She blames you, Nadbugs, because you mentioned “lettuce” and probably traumatized her into forgetting what she said next!
(Yes, i believe about the upset about not remembering. Sigh…)
Dreifuss does this little hop hop hop thing when he wants to get in my lap. Which he knows is to small for him. He’ll try to circle and rearrange himself for WAY to long before jumping down in a huff. Sometimes I can get him to stay by shoving his narrow, one legged rear between me and the arm of the chair. Maybe that’s what he wants. Sill cat.
It IS nice to have an animal who doesn’t jump well. Maybe I’ll stick to 3-legged cats.
Lokii is well able to jump, but chooses not to. Ya got me. Yes, it sounds like you also have a ‘squish me please’ kitty!
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Very funny! I’m glad you suggested this post. I’ll be reading more for sure as I do like your style. Have you seen The Blog of Otis? Don’t know if you’ll like it but I find it quite amusing, the cat is the author… http://cultofotis.wordpress.com/ in case you haven’t. See you round.
Wow! That’s a lot of cats! No, I’d not been there before, but I see Otis has a mutual friend of mine (probably more than one). Thanks!
OMG! That strange, middle of the night (or sometimes in the evening but right in another room for seemingly no reason) meow is ALL Chloe… It even has that weird rolling “R” you spelled out! BAHhah!
And, it’s startling how much cats and kids are alike. Take this passage —>
“He leans in, looks like he’ll come and lie down…then turns tail and walks away. Repeat 2-3 times. Round two of the game involves circling the living room doing bad things in order to get yelled at. He always goes clockwise and hits the same forbidden places in the same order: going behind the TV where the wire soup is dangerous”
Yup… that’s my cats AND my kid!
Oh no! Your daughter is learning how to be a Bengal! You are in sooooo much trouble! Okay maybe your cat-boy isn’t quite so bad then 🙂
They’re ALL raising my blood pressure…
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