Cats and zombies go bump in the night

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Uuuurgh. It’s not quite seven am and I’ve been up since 6:20 after a sleepless night ending in Spot starting his screeching nonsense and hubby getting up to inflict the cure. I’ll have to explain that another time. In any case, the cats think it is great fun that I’m downstairs and they are rampaging through the house to show their pleasure. Fog, my arse. It’s thunder little cat feet reminds me of.

I have had a weird half-head headache that comes and goes in short blasts behind and above my right ear. It’s probably sinus related, but may be an ear thing. I’m going with sinuses. I’m not particularly congested, but the right side of my nose is a bloody mess inside. Don’t think I’ve had something like this go on for so long without getting better or turn into an infection. I avoid the doctor as long as possible; until it turns into an infection I’d rather not have antibiotics. Even if I wanted to see the doc, I’ve got a 10 am job interview.

So of course, I’ve had very little sleep. Right before bed I read a good short story about zombies that inspired some great dreams. I mean that – not scary but very exciting. It takes some serious gore before I get scared in a dream. It did wake me up, or perhaps I just woke up naturally at a point where I could remember part of the dream. I tried to keep it going when I went back to sleep but only succeeded a little bit. I was zombie hunting!

One of my thoughts on reading the story was my continuing disappointment in how the women never, or rarely, kick ass in zombie tales. Seen The Walking Dead? The women in that show are skinnier and weaker than the animated corpses. I’d rather look at a rotting shambling dead thing than see the female lead in shorts and a tank top. She is so thin she makes me feel sick to my stomach. But that’s beside the point. The point is that even though I enjoyed the story I read, the only female character was a computer whiz hidden away from the action.

The guys, of course, are running around blowing the heads off zombies with accuracy and alacrity, and a good dose of stupidity. How can you not smell a damn zombie?

There’s these yahoos running around inside buildings, looking for the undead. They get surprised a lot. Of course that’s exciting in a book, it would get old fast if no one ever was in any real danger. But where are the women? The most prissy girly-girl in the world would be a great addition to a zombie hunting team! Much better than some hardened career soldier, a fashion junkie will notice disgusting things. Put Barbie in a room full of furniture and one tiny spider, and she’ll find it. Loudly.

Well, the loud part isn’t good for zombie hunting. Maybe an earbud sensor that beeps for the rest of the team when she pisses herself would be more efficient. Not very dignified, but since she’s insisting on full makeup and heels in the apocalypse, she doesn’t get to refuse.

And I wonder why I can’t sleep.

(The story was an excerpt from Orpheus by Dan DeWitt, released this year, his first full-length novel apparently)

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10 responses »

  1. You know, sometimes when I read your posts I tilt my head to the side, and squeeze my right eye. I just noticed it. I’m not sure why I’m doing it, maybe trying to imagine what you are writing.
    I’m also smiling all the time while reading, which means I really like it ( just in case you thought that I don’t. I love it! )
    The most difficult for me were those socks reports. I realized only today what was happening and before that I missed the beginning and was having really hard time trying to imagine what olives with eyes were doing inside socks. But I’m already fine, read it all and smiled a lot πŸ™‚

    You read very interesting and kind stories before you go to sleep, no wonder you need so little of such magical sleeps.

    Have you tried breathing something warm for your sinuses? I usually add some eucalyptus’ drops to the hot water and breathe it. As far as I understand the warmth helps getting the passages wider and thus all the sinuses get cleared faster. I’m not a doctor so just in case you can consult the Internet ( I don’t advise consulting doctors, because if you consult the Internet it will tell you consult doctors anyway)

    • I think my font is too small! But I can’t change it without paying for it, bah humbug.
      You reminded me, I really did mean to start any new Socks updates with the reason why I’m talking about her! I forgot again. Thank you for smiling, I love to hear that! I smile when I write it, too – glad to know it gets passed on!
      Thank you Doctor πŸ™‚ Kidding. I’m okay, it only hurts sometimes. Think it might be better, or even that I took a shower this morning and the steam helped, as you said. I normally take baths so less steam!

      • Your font looks fine to me. If you change it to a bigger one it will be still fine, I guess πŸ™‚

        It’s cool, isn’t it, that the smile is passed on. Now I’m smiling even more πŸ˜€

        I know it feels very unpleasant when it hurts and it can also be very unexpected, just when you make certain moves. It’s good to know it goes away.

        What interests me about Socks is why she is one lady but is called after a pair of things. I even imagined that maybe she had a distinct way of saying “it sucks” so that it sounded like “it socks”.
        But anyway, the next time you post about her I’ll understand much more than I did before! πŸ™‚

  2. Hi, there:

    I just happen to be the author of “Orpheus.” If you want ass-kicking females, my advice to you is just keep reading. Something that a few different reviewers have praised the book for is the fact that the females are equally capable as the men.

    I’d gladly send you (and any interested commenters, of course) a complimentary e-copy of the full novel. Just hit me up at danhdewitt@hotmail.com

    Thanks for reading,
    Dan

    • Ohholycrap. I never expected an actual author to look at my drivel! I hope I wasn’t a jerk – I can be a harsh critic. I read too much. Not that I said so, but the fact that the excerpt gave me interesting and clearly related dreams is a good thing. So much of what I read doesn’t make me think at all. If I was in the wrong, I’m sorry – in my defence it was bloody early and an hour later I realised I wasn’t even being original in my attempts at humour.

      I would LOVE to read the whole book and meet some ass kicking women! I’d also like to know what happens with the young person that was being sought…I don’t do spoilers. You know who I mean!

      • No worries; you weren’t harsh at all. I’d have to have a pretty thin skin to get upset by someone saying generally positive things about my work. I’ll have to disagree with the “good dose of stupidity” part, but I’m definitely biased when it comes to those guys. πŸ™‚

        Go to http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/76923 and enter the code “CN96Q” for a free copy in whichever format(s) you like. Feel free to pass that offer along, as the code’s good until the end of the week.

        I’m with you when it comes to weak female characters, and I don’t do the whole damsel in distress thing … blech. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by several female characters (one in particular who kicks wholesale arse). You might even grow to love those other yahoos, too.

        Dan
        dandewittfiction.blogspot.com

        • I’m excited now! I have to get hubby to assist – I know how to get a paper book, but I’ve never tried an upload. I’d hate to mess it up and not get a chance to read it! I woke up this morning and one of my first thoughts was, ‘yahoos…he’s not going to appreciate that I called his team a bunch of yahoos…’ I was right! I didn’t know as I was reading it that it was part of a novel, though – I’m looking foreward to learning their motivations. I love post-apocalyptic fiction, and I wanted to run around with them – hence the dream!
          Thank you again πŸ™‚

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