We buy toilet paper. TP. Loo roll. Bog roll. Bum wad. Or my new favourite: shit tickets.
Isn’t that great? Shit tickets. I’m so using that next time we run low. “Hey, honey? Buy some more shit tickets next time you are out!”
“Hey, honey? I used too many shit tickets and blocked up the jacks again!” [Jacks being the Irish term for the toilet – of which there are wayyyy too many slang terms for me to list.]
I bet you buy TP, too! Unless you steal it from work. I’m not judging.
What I bet you don’t have is specific instruction on what to do with your new purchase.
I’d never have figured it out on my own. Whew, I can poop now! Thanks!
heretherebespiders 
Shit tickets! Made me laugh!!
Sometimes the directions on packages make me afraid; very afraid… for those who need them.
I have started a new trend!
Shit tickets! Brilliant!
Seems I’m not the only one who thinks it is great!
Lather, rinse, repeat.
I refuse to repeat! Screw the man! I’m such a rebel.
Unfortunately I have to comply with the pulling when I need to go!
Now that’s a new one. Perfect.
Glad to share!
It seems there is always someone telling us how to do everything else, why not this too?
As above – later, rinse, repeat? No! Fight the power!
Shit tickets. Tp is no longer tp for me- it is shit tickets from now on. I’m still laughing.
It is the best – for those of us who are potty-mouthed and -minded!
Actually, my dad used to put “AW” on the shopping list. When pressed, he explained, Ass Wipe. Should have been obvious I guess.
I love it! We had a very puritanical upbringing as regarding language. Well, dad could say what he wanted but the kids and mom were all ‘darn’ and ‘tinkle’ and whatnot.
Thank goodness the shit tickets aren’t reusable. LOL! I had a good laugh. Thanks! 😀
One per customer! Not for use with any other offer…
Bwhahahahahaha!
Shit tickets… that’s fucking potty gold! 😀
I am inordinately proud that I have spread this term to so many people. Love you all!
Did you have to play a lot of Skee-Ball to get the ish-tickets (yeah, at work…damn language!)?
I got take out the other night, the box said:
Hot food.
Enjoy.
Such enthusiasm, right? Like “here’s the food. now eat” 😀
DO IT OR ELSE!
Um, it might be kinda luke warm by now, but it’s okay… ENJOY, DAMMIT!
Dear “Toilet Paper.” Henceforth…You shall be known as “Shit Tickets.”
This has been the best post ever, as far as I’m concerned. I have spread the shit ticket word across the globe.