We buy toilet paper. TP. Loo roll. Bog roll. Bum wad. Or my new favourite: shit tickets.
Isn’t that great? Shit tickets. I’m so using that next time we run low. “Hey, honey? Buy some more shit tickets next time you are out!”
“Hey, honey? I used too many shit tickets and blocked up the jacks again!” [Jacks being the Irish term for the toilet – of which there are wayyyy too many slang terms for me to list.]
I bet you buy TP, too! Unless you steal it from work. I’m not judging.
What I bet you don’t have is specific instruction on what to do with your new purchase.