Growing for Columbine


I’m doing pretty shitty at the moment. Loads of crap on my mind and I just want to spend time with my plants. I can’t seem to get any decent days to relax and work (not really a contradiction when it comes to gardening).

I’m outside right now, and I can hear someone clapping and hoo-hoe’ing in the near distance as they move cattle. Birds are singing like mad critters, looking for their one true love for a moment. Best of all, an actual cuckoo bird has moved into the neighbourhood, and calls continually. I love it, as I miss the German cuckoo clock I grew up with.

But. Earlier, I was subjected to a massive attack by midges. They love me. Especially my face and ankles. I don’t love them, and I swell up like a cheap hose with a kink in it. It itches, it itches, and the wound doesn’t go away for weeks if I succumb to the itching and rub a hole in my epidermis. I’m quite likely to do this in my sleep – how lovely.

I’m now surrounded by: my own cigarette smoke, a haze of ancient Skin-So-Soft, two citronella tiki torches, and four citronella tea lights. I can still see the little monsters fly in front of my screen, too. I’m miserable but since my shed-house was taken over by a bicycle (the price I have to pay for being the primary car driver), I can’t sit on the Throne anymore to write and still not be in the house.

I love being outside. I just wish it loved me back.

All I have to offer from my garden is one single solitary columbine plant. Grown from seed last year, it over wintered just fine and I moved it to a bigger pot and coated it with aphid/greenfly spray a few months ago. It is happy indeed.

I knew this as columbine in Ohio – but the Irish use the proper Latin name, Aquilegia. I can’t pronounce that, so imagonna stick with columbine.

16 responses »

  1. Love this. I feel like I’m there too!

    Take the time you need, dear, and enjoy that gorgeous columbine. I had one a lifetime ago and loved it until I had to leave it. I think to boot the bastard ripped it out after I was ripped out of my home. It’s really nice to see one again, even if it’s all the way in Ireland. 🙂

    Hugs to you.

  2. I had never heard of midges, but thanks to your link now I know that they are similar to mosquitoes. I feel for you. That would be awful to have to battle those each time you go outside. I love being outdoors too and I stay out there as long as possible…which sometimes is only minutes, because of those annoying bees. I’m terrified of those little flying critters. “One true love for a moment” – haha!

    • Mosquitoes love me too – but at least you can SEE and HEAR them! Midges are pencil-point tiny. They got through the weave of my socks before I knew it!

      I have a bee-tip for you! It’s quite silly, and makes you feel silly doing it, but so far it has worked for me: think at the bee this phrase – ‘if you land on me, you’ll explode.’ Maybe it just calms you down long enough to make a bee lose interest, or maybe they can read human minds! Give it a try and let me know 🙂

      • I have enough silly about me to try that. Even if it doesn’t have any effect on the bee, it’ll amuse me long enough for it to fly away. Thanks! Those suckers are going to explode! muhaha

  3. You poor bugger..Mozzies here drive me nuts..didn’t have too many because the water was down everywhere..mongrels..apparently eating bananas wards them off…your Aquilegia is gorgeous! also known as Grannies Bonnets 🙂 hugs and happy swatting! Fozziemum xx

  4. is it really that vivid a fuchsia color? I have bachelors-button blue, and light pink, but I’ve never seen that.

    My iris are about to explode. Contemplating a garden post myself.

  5. That sucks, when you can’t do what you love. I hope you find something that works to keep the critters away. My biggest problem is poison ivy. The sneaky little plants pop up everywhere and of course that is the first weed I touch when pulling weeds. That or the dogs brush up against the plants then rub up against me. So much itchy fun.

  6. I once saw an item in a catalog that seemed perfect for me – it was an entire outfit of netting. Made perfect sense to me. Only problem is, if it gets wet, then it just becomes a bug suit.

Thoughts? Gardening tips? Cocktail recipes? Don't just like and leave, please - I can talk for Ireland and would love to prove it!

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