It was NOT FOOD.

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Oh man. Last night, I ate the Heinz mac and cheese I posted about yesterday.

We were making a roast chicken, and hubby was making himself some roast cauliflower, so I had no ‘side’ handy.

Because I will never like cauliflower. Ever. Sorry, it smells worse than my compost bin on a hot day. It smells like it has been decomposing for a while. To paraphrase Monty Python, it smells as if it is no more. I’m not putting that in my mouth ever again.

So instead I had the M&C (not spelling that out any more, either). Popped the top, scraped it into a tiny bowl, nuked it for 1:30… And it was done. Easy.

Reason it was easy is that it was mostly “cheese sauce.” Despite the tin’s claim, it was not delicious. It rather tasted of nothing. It looked awful, however. Be glad I love you all enough not to have taken a photo.

Have any of you ever gone to a little kid’s haunted house? Where they put stuff in bowls, in the dark, and tell you to put your hand in it? “This is the braaains of a dead man!” “Eeeeeee!”

Yeah, this muck would be great at playing the part of deadman’s brains. Pale, pale yellow – more an ecru or a beige – and more sauce than pasta. And the pasta? Entirely tasteless and squishy. No chewing was needed. Blargh.

I did eat it all, and even disdained putting salt in it – salting that mush didn’t seem like it was going to help. When the pasta was gone, there was a good three spoons of … cheese … left, and I scraped the bowl with a bit of chicken. That actually wasn’t too horrible, as my chicken had flavour and texture. The sauce just made it a bit easier to chew – you know, wetter.

All in all? I’m hoping I don’t get this in my Christmas stocking.

A visual interpretation of what it tasted like:

20131001-210824.jpg

Still better than cauliflower.

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22 responses »

  1. I loled when I saw the title in my mail box! I loled even more as I read. And I probably broke my keyboard with my forehead when I saw the picture. You are hilarious 🙂

    Thanks for confirming what we probably all expected!

    • You sure didn’t miss much! I am usually on low carb so no gluten just because it’s full of carbs. But I’ve been losing weight with the new job so not too worried about it. That said, I don’t crave it – especially if it comes in this form!

    • Yes, that’s the expensive place I mentioned! €8 for a box of Lucky Charms – and who wants Lucky Charms anyway?!? I’d be mortified to eat them in Ireland. Maybe a good gag-gift, however… I don’t think I could pay that. It’s hard enough that ramen costs 18x what it should over here, with NO quality improvement.

  2. At least it didn’t turn out to be addictive as I had said in my comment to your first post on the jar of stuff! And I love cauliflower.

  3. You are so funny. Hilarious timing. (100% better than cauliflower…roasted? bet that smells..only had it steamed with nutmeg…the last picture is appropriate)
    Sorry about the can no-goods..had hope…always looking for stuff we can stock for hurricane season and don’t mind eating up later.

    • Yeah, to me cauliflower smells like sweaty trucker-butt. The M&C didn’t really taste or smell of anything, and the texture was goo. Oh well! I could review Aldi’s hotdogs in a jar, ‘American Style’, next… But I don’t know if I’d survive.

Thoughts? Gardening tips? Cocktail recipes? Don't just like and leave, please - I can talk for Ireland and would love to prove it!

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