Tag Archives: random

A diary type of post

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Let’s see. Today, for me, started at midnight when I had a very late dinner of hot chicken wings, and then decided I would sleep in the hammock. I put out two blankets, one on top and one underneath, and my pillow. I also wore a long sleeved shirt, sweatpants, and socks just in case it got cold or there were midges aprowl.

I passed out quite quickly, as I normally do. This time it was without the help of a book or my ipad, as I didn’t want any settling dew to ruin either. I woke up all the way just once during the night, and looked up to see the Big Dipper overhead. I cuddled into my blankets happily and went right back to sleep.

About 5 am the sun was coming up, and it seemed that the dew point had finally been reached as I felt distinctly damp. I was also resting most of my arse and back on the ground. I guess the cotton of the hammock stretches more when damp, or it had finally given up on holding my substantial self off the ground. I brought my covers and pillow inside, and found hubby still asleep on the couch. I chased him off by talking utter nonsense, he told me later, and I didn’t wake up until 10am. Yikes: I’m normally up at 7, 7:30.

From the couch I can’t really see if the sun is out; can’t see if it will be a good day. I got up, had some water, drank the last of my iced tea, went outside for about 10 minutes and realised it was too hot, already – so I went back inside and watched a truly terrible episode of Stargate SG1. Just when I started to fall asleep I made myself get up and go back outside.

It was actually, truly, HOT today. By 5:30 it was 31.7 out – or 89 in American money (as hubby likes to say). I spent most of my day in shorts and a bikini top, and even then I had to move out of the sun quite often. I went to the shop once, for smokes, and took a shower (dammit, I’m peeling – I really did get some sunshine). After 3 I walked to the doctor and found out I get another week off work. I think I can handle going back after that. They hired someone to do my terrible job, and they start in another week. So maybe I get a few days of training someone up, or maybe I get to go right into my new role which involves no email, no phones, and no people blaming me for things I have no control over. And I’ll get to wear steel toe shoes! Sweet.

Hubby is doing a BBQ tonight – he goes a bit mad and tonight we have three kinds of sausages, chicken wings, pork chops, and maybe some corn (just for me). No, we don’t have company over. He just really likes to cook. He brought me a sampling of wings and a sausage a few minutes ago, as I sat out front getting the last rays. What a lovely thing to do. I feel terrible that I’m out front and he’s out back.

Oh, I should show you my tan. It’s especially funny compared to hubby’s Irish complexion:

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Is that not bloody amazing? I love how he only has freckles up to where a short-sleeved shirt ends, and then he’s alabaster white above that line. Me? Even the paler underside of my arms, or my palms, aren’t as white as he is. He truly is the whitest man I know. Who loves hip-hop. Go figure.

My only thought on the supposed end o de world

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Clearly, all the hoo-rah has been a load of poo. But I am impressed with just one thing: the Mayan calendar, made umpteen years ago, predicted entirely accurately the day of the winter solstice in 2012. How wonderful. They had skillz.

Unless even that is a load of poo and whomever translated it decided this was the end date. In which case, someone out there has been giggling up their sleeve for at least a year now.

He/she also had skillz. And a fabulous sense of humour!

What I learned this week Nov 19-Dec 2

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Oh, dear. The first thing I learned was right after my last post. I learned that my husband doesn’t know how to wash a really, really, sharp knife.

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He’s lucky that at the bottom of that deep cut there’s the green scratchy bit that didn’t slice so easily. Or I would have been learning, again, about Ireland’s A&E waiting room. I also learned he never even knew he did this.

I learned that when I squeeze the old water and suds out of a bifurcated sponge, it squirts all over me, and the floor, and it is best to just retire it and get a new one. I’m thrifty, and will use it for something disgusting before I throw it out; but I’m not so thrifty I will put up with a squirting clown-flower for a dish sponge.

I just learned there was a bad car crash locally, and I might be going to another funeral soon. We were out driving about the same time, the fog was pretty bad. Hope I’m wrong about the funeral.

Speaking of cars and driving, I learned that black ice is quite possible in Ireland. And I learned my car is a deathtrap. It’s only my years of driving in Ohio snow that kept me on the road, albeit not in the direction I wanted the car to go. Warmer weather this week, new tires next weekend I hope.

I learned…no. I knew, but just confirmed, that I will never spell tire ‘tyre’ on my blog. I might have to do it at work but NO, not here. I also will not pronounce the letter Z, when spelling something out loud, as ‘zed.’ It’s a Zee, and that is that. I also will always say vy-tah-min and not vit-ah-min. I just cannot do it.

I learned that my Irish and English coworkers still know what I mean when I say zee and don’t even raise an eyebrow. Heh.

I learned that the socks that tried to kill me are about the warmest damn socks ever, and I love them.

I learned that after all the years I’ve done it, I still expect my animals to be freaked out when we bring in the Christmas tree. I’m either really good at having/training indoor pets, or I somehow picked ones that are entirely laid-back and mellow. We brought in a tree seven feet tall, nearly five foot wide at the base, stinking of tree and all the places a tree could possibly have been and of all the animals that could have possibly peed on it, or lived in it, not to mention the parking lot and van we shoved it into. And they ignored it entirely. All of them. Even the cat that never sees or smells a tree until we drag one into the house once a year. Not learned much here about them, just about me wondering why they are such good ‘kids.’

Oh, Balls!

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Hey! I learned that I’m only half the eejit I thought I was! Look what I found:

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Yep, hanging off one of the many, many loops of my pothos plant is – the balls off my socks. The ones that I thought Lokii had eaten. Woot! I put them there because he never goes up there, even though he could. He’s not a plant-eater, and even Spot seems to also have no interest in the pothos.

The plant is on the wall-mounted TV rack in our bedroom, one of the things we didn’t bother to remove when we moved in. I suffered it to remain as it makes a great plant stand, and because I will permit a TV in my house, but not one in my bedroom.

What I learned this week Nov 18-24

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I don’t feel very edumacated this week. I’ll have to think hard for this one!

I (we) learned to get a second opinion when asking the Internet what temperature to cook a turkey. Dinner was meant to be on the table about 9:30 – it wasn’t done until 11:30. We were tired and cranky as hell by then. It was still really, really tasty, and we didn’t need to stuff ourselves into a coma when it was already soooo late.

I learned that my barley stuffing is friggin’ awesome. It would make a good side dish anytime. I’ll share if you like (it’s nearly vegetarian, only the chicken bouillon would need to be swapped out).

I learned that really old pumpkin purée, if not frozen because you can’t be bothered, turns sort of white and smells of bleach. But if you scrape off the white part on top, it’s lovely orange underneath and makes a good pie, even if you’re a little afraid to eat it at first.

I’ve learned that it is possible that my husband knows where a rarely-used kitchen implement might be located.

I learned that my husband was willing to try to make whipped cream by hand, when I didn’t find the whippy-attachment for the food processor where he said he thought it was.

I learned that he trusted me when I said I’d looked there, already.

I learned that I am still capable of being an asshole. Well, that shouldn’t have been surprise.

I learned we can get American Football over the net. Live from CBS. Go Browns!

I learned that nearly 8 years away from live American TV let me forget you guys are forced to watch commercials every damn 8 minutes. I am soooo sorrrryy.

I learned that American commercials are as stupid as they were 8 years ago.

I learned that the US pronunciation of ‘mobile’ as in ‘mobile phone’ now sounds totally silly to me. MO-bīle. Not moble. I’d shudder less if you said it like the city of Mobile, AL (That’s Mo-BEEL, for anyone not from the South).

I learned that I hate taking a shower as much as I hate having to go to work. At least the experience is shorter.

I learned how to upload to YouTube and post wherever I want! Just wait until I feel like uploading vids from ‘the real camera.’

I’ve learned it is possible to put away Halloween and bring down Christmas before December starts! Even when I don’t feel like Christmas at all! I’m not unpacking it yet, of course. I need a tree first. Next weekend?

I’ve learned that I still haven’t learned that when I know Lokii is going to steal and eat something, I need to remove it from his reach. I feel even worse about this after reading that a friend’s cat is in the hospital for eating a plastic bag. Lokii ate some plastic foam from a Halloween decoration and the fuzz balls off the socks that tried to kill me are missing. I knew better and I still didn’t move these things. And then I “gave out” (another Irish expression for you) to iDJ for not taking the tasty blanket off the bed every morning.

I learned, again, that I am still capable of being an asshole…

What I learned this week Nov 11-17

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I learned that the chicken processing factory that I drive by twice a day smells worse, now that it is cold, than it ever did on the hottest days this summer. Gag.

I learned that the dog’s nails are way too long. But I have yet to do anything about that.

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I learned that I really, really need to check between my toes before getting in the bathtub, especially when it’s cold and I’ve been wearing socks constantly. I haven’t learned just what socks I might own that are full of magenta fluff, but it wasn’t easy picking it all out of the water.

I learned it was past time to bring in the big rain umbrella for the winter. It didn’t go flying over to the neighbours, but it might have smashed up one of my blueberry bushes. It’s too nasty out there for me to tell how much damage, if any, was done.

I’ve learned that I don’t care for the Lemony Snicket books. Bummer. Yes, I know they are for kids, but I wouldn’t have liked them as a child, either. I don’t like the style and I don’t like the author constantly interrupting the story to define ‘big words.’ And if you are going to have children invent things, maybe have them invent things that might actually work? Heating up fire tongs to white hot in an oven that won’t close all the way, then carrying the tongs in one oven-gloved hand while climbing down a rope for two hours to use it to melt steel bars? Ugh.

I’ve learned that I’m so lazy, I poured beer on the cat to shut him up. And it worked. I wouldn’t get up to fetch some water to dump on him instead (he’s on to that trick, anyhow). And I might be about to do it again if he doesn’t shut the hell up.

I learned that burning inedible bits of an orange in the fireplace does not make the room smell nice.

I learned that eating an orange while using an iPad is a messy mistake.

I learned that somehow, after blogging over a year, I wasn’t signing up for email updates on all the other blogs I follow. Durr. Sorry, I really wasn’t being an ass, I was being…an arse.

I learned that the toenails on my left foot grow faster than the ones on my right. This came about because I also learned I’m too lazy to take off the polish from the summer. I trimmed my nails and noticed that there’s more still left on my right foot.

I learned that I can hang two shirts in the hot press to dry faster. Sweet! (The hot press is Irish term for the little closet that has the house’s hot water tank in it. And usually all of the linens and towels. That’s your Irish lesson for the day: now I’ve taught something, too!)

I’ve learned that hubby will wash the halogen oven, as long as I wash the metal grate that the food sits on. Win-win for both of us! I hate cleaning the bowl and he hates cleaning the grate.

What I learned this week Nov 4-10

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I’ve just now, just this instant, come up with an idea for a new weekly post. And now you get to see if it is worth a shit or not! Introducing:

What I Learned This Week.

I learned via the blog that I’m not as weird as I thought I was. Or, I learned that I know and like a lot of weird people. I’m guessing it’s a bit of both.

I learned that raw pumpkin in its natural state rots fast – but if it is cooked it a bit to get the skin off, you’ve got another week before you have to freeze it.

I learned my mother-in-law has room in her freezer for a ton of pumpkin.

I learned that eating too many roasted pumpkin seeds gives me a tummy-ache and a sore tongue from the shells and salt.

I learned that if you goose Lokii when he is all hunched up, low to the ground, ears flat, butt-a-wigglin’, ready to attack something (be it a toy, a ball of paper, his brother, or something only he can see), he will forget that he was about to attack. I totally expected that when he was so focused he would jump a mile.

I learned to be super-careful wearing the new socks with built-in soles that hubby bought me. I didn’t smash my face when tripping up the stairs, but only a fast elbow jammed into the baluster saved my nose (I was carrying something and only had one hand).

I learned that it worries me more when I don’t want to bitch to my best friend. She’s not judgemental: it isn’t her. But if I start closing myself off from her…well, that can’t be good. Or maybe I’m sick of hearing myself whine. Hmm, maybe I didn’t learn anything there, yet.

I learned that my dog has started shitting in the middle of the lawn, instead of just around the edges. Ick.

I learned the new John Irving book is too much like his others. I’m sad about that.

I learned that my coworkers had no idea who I would prefer to win in the US presidential election.

I learned that people here ask me, very cautiously, thinking they are being clever: ‘who do you want to win?’ because they are totally going to judge me on my answer.

I learned I always gave the answer they were relieved to hear. But I’m a bit sad that they ever thought I might be for the other guy.

I learned yet again that people can be cruel on the Internet. Even when apologies are offered and explanations given.

I learned not to look in the shopping bags until after hubby finishes unloading the car. Dangerous new socks were supposed to be for me, for Christmas.

I’d like to learn why Lokii is currently upstairs saying mmm, mmmm, mmm, mmmm, over and over and over…

I feel weird

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I’m outside, in the shivery cold, wearing two shirts, my ‘smoking jacket’, sweats, socks and slippers. The moon is bright and directly in front of me, and I hear nothing but car tires whispering in the distance, an occasional bird who hasn’t realised that it is dark out, and a few thumps and bumps from the neighbours’ house.

It’s quiet because iDJ isn’t here and so there is no music playing – for a change. You have no idea how much I appreciate a non-musical interlude. He’s off buying me cream for my coffee and taking a brand new PC to its new owners – he does computer work on the side and fuck me but it took hours to set up a brand new Dell out of the box. Crazy. Hope he gets some cash for this. (Edit – he did)

Thumps and bumps are because we live in a semi-d. I share a wall with strangers. Well, not that we don’t ever talk but we have SFA in common, other than a dislike for the new neighbours in the estate who leave their yappy dog out all day and all night and never ever make it shut the hell up.

I smell the smoke of fires, mine and theirs – mine is coal and turf briquette, theirs is wood. The air is still enough that the smoke sifts down to me where I sit in the patch of light coming through our sliding glass doors. Shivering.

I don’t want to go in, even if I have a fire waiting. Outside it’s dry, and not windy, and my back feels ever-so-much better if I sit up straight in my Coleman camp chair. Sitting properly is something I do not do when huddled in front of the fire trying to blow my nasty cigarette smoke up the chimney.

I think I’m getting something. A cold, the flu, a bad reaction to having infected teeth. I haven’t been ill in over a year – I forget what the signs are. I feel weird. Stuffed up, but totally able to breathe through my nose. Achy, but just my neck. Headachy, but I’m used to that. We will see. I have another cold sore. This makes two in three weeks. A sure sign my resistance is low and I’m fighting off some horrible nastiness. For me to admit I don’t feel ‘right’ at all probably means I have something seriously wrong. Heh. Not. Heh.

We got free fish today. A friend of iDJ’s brought us cleaned and filleted mackerel. I don’t cook fish, I haven’t the talent. I leave eggs and fish to himself; he has the touch. I was mostly annoyed that I have to wash a raw-fish smelling bowl, and felt a bit odd that we were getting free meat out of the boot of a taxi. I guess that’s my do-something-for-the-first-time observation for the day.

A not new thing I’ve been wanting to mention is something that happens daily on my drive in to work. Same road, same time, every morning, I meet a school bus coming the other way. The bus-driver lifts a hand from the wheel and greets me. Every day.

How cool is that? I don’t know him, I don’t live in that town, and I don’t have kids on his bus. He knows my car and knows I’m there, and gives a little hello. I love Ireland. I would never get that in the States. I give it back, of course. Two ships vehicles passing in the night morning. It cheers me as I sit in my little blue and white box, music (that I love, a rarity) so loud I can’t hear my own engine, on my way to another day of work. I look forward to seeing that bus coming at me.

Himself is home, and the dog is tap-dancing in glee and the cats are talking to him – because he talks back, of course. I expect the music to start any second now, he’s standing at the Mac…

More snooze alarming

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I don’t know what’s going on with me lately, but I have some serious thoughts in the 10-minute snooze gap. I’m sort of half-awake, half-hallucinating, half-intellectual, half-bad at mathematics.

Today I wondered if digital clocks have any internal parts that rotate. If they do, what direction do they turn? Are they still really digital if the rotation is clockwise? Is it still really a clock if the turn is anticlockwise?

No wonder I never hit snooze more than once a morning.

Ooo.

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I have no idea where I’m going with this post so bear with me! Just again feel the need to write, to reach out, and see what happens.

First off I use the WP app to write new posts – rarely for comments – so it was a surprise to realise the update I downloaded over the weekend made a lot of changes. Hence the ‘ooo.’ There’s all kinds of swiping and whatnot instead of the Microsoft-training we all have of closing or ‘x-ing’ out of something. And man, just then: attempting to get the iPad to accept x-ing was a trial… Second time, it’s a winner! I love this stupid thing.

Stupid thing is now a year old! My iPad is a year old. I never wanted it, never even considered it as something I would need. And now? Like a Texan’s firearm, you’ll have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands. Yes, I’m teasing my Texas friends here – I seem to have quite a few and none of you fit that stereotype; I know it well but had to poke fun. Feel free to tease me for being a southerner myself, or an Irish drunk with a bad temper! Apparently I am both. Well, part Irish. I do say I’ve taken to the drinking aspect of the culture quite nicely. And I was born in NewJersey – go have a look on a map where the Mason-Dixon line was! Sigh. I can still speak ‘southrin’ any time I want, which entertains Irish people to a great extent. I think hubby only married me because I can do that. I need a south-Jersey refresher course, though – I end up sounding like Tony Soprano when I try. The bad temper is never going away.

What was I talking about? Meh, who cares. I have sunshine again, on a Monday.

And beer.

Woot!

Wait I need a fresh one. At least I’m not abandoning my empties in the grass like I did on Friday. Man, it was so hot that day my sweat smelled of beer. It might tomorrow at work. Whoops. I better switch back to rum and Pepsi Max after this one. It’s just…beer and sunshine are made for each other. I remember the day I discovered Sam Adams Cherry Wheat beer. I’m not usually a big fan of wheat beer but it was a hot day and I had plenty of them in the fridge, and sun and heat and no where to be. I reeked of cherries. It came out of my pores everywhere, liked I’d bathed in cherry skin-cream. Sort of gross, but by then I really, really, didn’t care.

And that wasn’t even the day I broke my pinky toe by sitting in the sun, drinking, and holding my pee so long that when I finally had to get up – about four or five beers later – I smashed my foot into some stairs and aw, first broken bone ever. I was close to 30 if not past it by then. Probably past it. Wonder if beer makes your bones weak? Or if having a massive-capacity bladder does? Ah well. I broke the same toe about 10 years later, just doing my usual tripping over nothing. Sober (ish) that time. Fun times… sad thing is, I used to be able to wiggle my pinkie toes independent of the rest of my toes, as a party trick, and that one doesn’t bend much any more.

Damn you, cloud, go away!

Better go back and reread and see if I have any point here today…

Ooo. Just hit preview and I have no paragraphs. That is bad…this stream of consciousness style of writing depends on visual breaks or I sound like I’m insane. Which is quite likely but I’m usually good at hiding it better. With paragraphs.

Man that cloud is annoying. Just wide enough to block my sunshine and make me cold. Go away, go away faster! Yes I see you moving, but move faster! And you! you, trailing behind! Move upward. Spiders need solar power.

Right, well, it appears I have nothing to say of any real import. I’m trying, I’m reaching out, because I’m in a good mood today and lately I haven’t been anywhere near a good mood. I’m doing my best to keep up a dialogue and even if it is me talking shite via writing, I imagine you listening and I don’t feel so alone.

Now if that second big-ass cloud would just move it along a bit, I’ll be happy…OMG still no paragraph breaks. Time to go find the help on this new app… Sorry… Will edit afterward so I make a modicum of sense.