Category Archives: WTF

Not Creepy but Still Kinda Icky


Ready to find out what the weird Creepy? photo was of? 

Maybe this will help!

Yes, nothing more than a random bird-splotch on my car’s windscreen.

I saw an alien skull, maybe partially rotten or damaged, with one eye melted or broken and tentacles instead of teeth. I do tend toward the dark side.

A few of you also saw skulls, spiders, and the dark side. Welcome, evil ones!

I think Sled got nearest to guessing what it actually was with her comment of ‘A gluey fingerprint on a window.’ So very close!

I had several people guess it was a swarm of critters in the distance. Not bad! But it does prove that what your eyes see isn’t anything like reality. Points for seeing something organic, though – that is correct!

Imagination does take over: my favourite for sheer creavitivy was JustMe’s:  a steampunk airship. Wow. I love it.

Steve saw something I still cannot imagine – a woman with a ponytail. Anyone else see that?

Grannymar had several good ones: a parachuting skydiver, or a helmet, or an airborne plastic bag. Lots of thought went into her ideas!

A Potter-esqe Dementor was NotAPunkRocker’s vision. I actually think this is most likely, even if untrue.

Phil gets the most humouous award, however! ‘Alien Jellyfish! (searching for peanut butter chips in order to be complete)’ 

Her comment actually makes me think of the Portugese Man o’ War, which it does resemble!

Caped Madness in Ireland


I’m not one for sharing other’s blogs, usually – but this is such a well-written, funny, and disturbing post that it has be spread far and wide.

Father Ted meets Monty Python as Brother Dougal hits Limerick in the fight against the evil gays.

It couldn’t get any more surreal than this, folks. Or could it?

 Photo copyright Bock The Robber.

Gay marriage does not hurt kids, married straight people, or attack the defininition of marriage. It is merely giving the same legal rights to every couple who want to spend their lives together. I’m baffled that this is a thing that is currently illegal. 
It sure isn’t super.

(go read the post, seriously!)

Cows, Trolls, and Windshield (Windscreen) Wipers


I’m going to have to title this after I’m done rambling. My brain is all over the shop! Probably I should break this up and do a few posts rather than dumping everything in my noggin out on the screen and stirring it up to see what rises to the surface. 

I’m going crack open my egg and get out a big wooden spoon to see what happens, anyway.

I had to come to a first-gear-and-hazards-on stop this morning on the way into work, as there was a cow in the road. I immediately learned that they don’t like being honked at – said cow jumped from the side of the road to directly in front of my car. When you drive a Mini, a cow is huge! Hmm. How is the farmer going to know they lost a coo if I don’t honk my horn? Cow is now looking for food on the centre line of the asphalt…honk! Whew, I only had to go entirely into potential oncoming traffic to creep past.

Think my use of hazard lights caught on – the car behind me did the same. I used them again to warn a car coming the other way, too. Irish life!

I am still irritated over some jackass who tried to troll me on FB. I know I did the right thing by not engaging, but the instinct for “I should have said” is strong in me. Probably because I was bullied so much as a kid. The great thing about the Internet is you have plenty of time to come up with those “I shoulda said’s”. The terrible thing about the Internet is that sometimes you have to still keep that shit to yourself as it isn’t worth it. I have no need to explain myself to an aggressive total stranger who took my words entirely out of context and called me an obnoxious narcissist with bad taste in music who bullies others and looks down on other cultures. No, no I do not – nothing I could have said was going to change his mind. But it still pisses me off to no end that someone thinks that about me – or said it to get a rise out of me. 

I felt better for a while, and actually laughed when my only response was ‘Go troll someone else’ and his was ‘take your own advice’. Seriously, he pulled the kindergarten, “I know you are but what am I?” card? So very troll. Fuck him.

Just wish I wasn’t still thinking about it. Wonder if it is a form of PTSD? Not belittling PTSD, don’t get me wrong. It’s just … it’s been days; get out of my head already!

I changed the wiper blades on the car today. Why does that have to be so damn difficult? I can assemble furniture or anything IKEA like a boss – I repair all kinds of weird stuff at work that I’ve never seen before – but those tiny diagrams on the wiper blade box baffled me. I kept the crappy old blades in the car just in case I screwed it up – again. I already screwed it up once, and had to put the rotten one back on. The new bastard was whistling while wiping. Something so common should not take 20 minutes to do!

Right, I think that is enough. I’ll save the plant stuff for another day, when I’m not all stuck in my melon. 

Raising Robins


So, last post I mentioned our robin. He does flit between a couple of houses in the estate, so this is his territory now and has been since last autumn.

I postulated on if he had a girlfriend, because there was another robin hanging about. I thought he might be gay because this other robin looked the same, just a bit more shy and hungrier. Google to the rescue!

The male and female look the same, which was a surprise to me. She will likely sing less, or not at all, or not as loudly.

I’m still having trouble deciding who is whom. In any case, they both are around all the time.

Thursday, I noticed that there were a lot of dead strawberry leaves in the grass right next to the patio. I picked them up, thinking that I must have not gathered them all up when I cleared out the strawberry patch the weekend before. Friday, there were more leaves. I was baffled as it hadn’t been windy, and why were they all piled up in one place? I picked them up again and into the compost bin they went.

Yesterday morning, early, there were yet more leaves. Then I remembered that there are starlings above the roll-up door at work, and they leave a huge mess of sticks and whatnot on the asphalt. So l looked up from where I was picking leaves and was literally face-to-face with our Hoselock hose reel.

Well, shit. 

Well, that’s unexpected!

Well, we have a problem.

I cannot roust them. Just can’t. We will continue our normal activities, and according to Google, we should get our hose back in about 6 weeks after eggs are laid. Then I’m turfing them out and taking apart the reel to clean it – we got a 40-meter reel for a reason!

Unless they got freaked out by me finding the nest and pick a new one, which can happen. But seriously, this faces our sliding doors so cats are staring that them all the time, and the dog is in and out quite a lot… they had a bad realtor or estate agent! 

New Stop-Smoking Method for Certain Phobics?


I had something unusual happen to me this afternoon. Something that’s never happened before, something I have never even heard of in my over-40 years on this planet…

When I went for my usual 12:30 smoke break, my lighter wouldn’t light. It’s a disposable one, and it was sparking just fine so the flint wasn’t gone. I could see their was still fluid in it, too. Sometimes a cheapo lighter won’t light when it is too cold, but it was 10 C out, so that wasn’t the problem either.

I kept trying, as you do, while looking around for a fellow smoker to bum a light from if my lighter was truly dead. One two three four five six… suddenly there was a glob of something sticky and wet on my sparking-thumb. It looked like a bloody blackened booger (bogey).

“What the fuck?” said I, as I wiped it off on the wall. On further inspection, there was something slimy and brown on the roller wheel of my lighter. I had a tissue in my pocket and wiped the goop off, and as I did so I saw something inside my lighter.

In there. (Chapstick tube for scale)

Now, I’ve found pocket-lint in that little space, but I have never seen legs before.

Legs that once belonged to a spider that got sucked up into the wheel and smushed onto my thumb.

I have to wonder how it got in there, and when. Overnight seems most plausible, which means it may or may not have survived a lot of small fires before I sparked it to death. But I suppose it could have crawled inside in the hour since my last cig. Wee spidereen could have fallen into my hi-vis vest pocket, and decided to hide in the smallest place possible.

But in any case: I had a spider just inches from my eyes, nose and mouth that could have – should have! – jumped out to safety onto my face.

If that won’t make any arachnophobic smokers quit, I don’t know what will!

Sadly, I’m rather fond of spiders, and my smokey-treats.

Cartoon Craziness Challenge – Memories of a Childhood Vacation


I have a funny vacation memory! Yay! Well, it’s not exactly funny. It’s something that probably should not have happened – it shouldn’t have been possible and it wasn’t technically legal – but it did teach me that my dad’s word was as good as gold.

We lived on the Gulf Coast of Florida, so we went to the mountains in North Carolina a couple years in a row on holiday vacation (back then a ‘holiday’ to me was a real one like Christmas). We rented a cabin on the lower slope of a mountain, and just chilled out. I loved it – the people who ran the cabin rentals lived at the bottom and had goats and sheep and let me interact with them. There were rocks and trees and giddy little rivers, and panning for gemstones. The panning was most likely seeded with stones, but it was fun for me anyway. I still have a chunk of flaky mica I found all on my own, too.

I was, I’m going to guess, between 9 and 11. So we’ll say I was 10 when this occurred. Not sure if it was raining out or what, but we were all inside the cabin. I also don’t know who came up with the idea, but I’m assuming it was me: I bet my dad that I could hold my eyes open without blinking for one whole hour, if I could have one whole can of beer all to myself! I always did like beer…

Dad agreed and timed me and made sure I didn’t blink. I wouldn’t have cheated, either – I wanted to see if I could do it.

Of course my eyes welled up and streamed tears. But after a good while, they tapered off. They got used to it. My eyes felt dry, but I didn’t have the urge to blink anymore.

I made it the whole hour. Mom might have protested a bit, maybe, but dad didn’t hesitate and popped the top on a can just for me. I can’t remember if I managed to drink the entire can of beer, but I can guess that I was just as stubborn about finishing it as I was at winning it. I do recall a sense of satisfaction at being able to kick back with a beer of my own, with my family. Maybe I was just a happy drunk!

So here is my cartoon – and it sure did need that explanation or you wouldn’t have a clue what it is meant to be.


Cartoon Craziness Challenge – Self Portrait with Spots


My contribution to the Cartoon Craziness Challenge – this week’s theme is a self portrait. I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t making fun of myself, so the original post is about talking in my sleep, Lokii being evil, and finally my getting yet another zit, or spot, at the age of 40. Yes I’m fucking well older than that now and I still get them, so I repeat: what the hell?
Anyhoo, I’ve re-read it, and it’s kinda funny so please do have a look!

So I’m kinda cheating on the challenge, as I already had this drawn years ago. Tough noogies.

Moi, for real (I drew my features from a photo) with a Giant Irish Talking Spot/Zit from Hell.