Category Archives: WTF

Red Dwarf Season 11!!!

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I am inordinately happy about this. Yes, I’m a giant geek.

http://www.giantfreakinrobot.com/scifi/red-dwarf-blasts-eleventh-season.html

Some of the text from the website GiantFreakinRobot:

“Fans of deep space wackiness, robots, amazing absurdity, and a creature descended from the common house cat, have a lot to be grateful today. Once thought long dead, the venerable British sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf is coming back to life one more time. Co-creator Doug Naylor has signed on to write an eleventh season, one which is already scheduled to shoot later this year.

For the uninitiated, Red Dwarf is the story of Dave Lister (Craig Charles). Through a series of unfortunate events he is the last living human in the known universe, and is stranded on a mining ship lost three million years in deep space. His only companions are the hologramatic recreation of his former bunkmate, a twit named Arnold Judas Rimmer (Chris Barrie); Kryten (Robert Llewellyn), a neurotic maintenance droid with a head that looks like a pencil eraser; and Cat (Danny John-Jules), a vain, ditzy humanoid that evolved from Lister’s cat Frankenstein. There’s also a time-addled computer, who has gender reassignment surgery part of the way through the series. The crew has all sorts of crazy adventures, meet all manner of space creatures, robots, and half-mad killer cyborgs, and even travel through time on occasion.”

Let’s hope this works: YouTube link to a really good top ten best of clips. I’m grinning like crazy still.
http://youtu.be/UVmKeisK2cU

Arachnophobes, Look Away Now

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Did some gardening clean-up on Sunday, as it was actually a sun-day. We had a wooden coal bunker (recycled shipping crate) that had rotted completely away. I’d been given a new crate by one of the truck drivers that comes in to load up daily, and it was finally a nice enough day to do the big swap.

It was messy as hell, and when we finally got to the bottom and hubby was pulling out chunks of rotten wood, he gave a little screech and kinda…threw a chunk of wood toward me.

“What is that?!? Ahhhh, it’s huge! What is it?!?” He danced away from the remains of the box.

Me being me, I turn the chunk of wood over and immediately let it go again when I see the biggest spider I have ever, ever seen in Ireland. This gal was Florida-sized. Cool, but I didn’t want to be bitten by a scared spider any more than he did.

“I need a jar, quick!” I tell iDJ – and he gets me one but asks what I am going to do with it.

“I’m going to catch her, of course! We can’t leave her in here, and I want a close up look.”

So I did, and later transferred her to a plastic container so I could see her better. She was a little weak but after some time in the warm house (in the container) she’d perked up again and was spinning webs.

I have a ‘complete Irish wildlife’ book which consistently fails to identify anything I can’t figure out myself. It’s frustrating. Two pages of spiders, really? I have more species than that in my own garden. Sheesh. Anyway, I took a photo with a measuring tape for scale, and let her go last night. Her new home is a nice old stone wall where no one walks and there are lots of nooks and crannies to hide in.

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Isn’t she a stunner?

Help! Creativity Needed!

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Help! Creativity Needed!

Okay, all you fabulous creative people! I’m a big recycler, and I’m dreading the thought of throwing HUNDREDS of these into the skip! Any ideas on what they could be used for? About 6.5in across, and NOT recycle marked, they are lids to medical sharps containers that are defective (in that the white plastic bit doesn’t slide easily). Once that white bit is fully closed, it cannot be opened again – these are meant for biohazard needles and to be incinerated when full. Please help me come up with ideas to save them from a landfill!

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So, I Have to do This Now at Work…

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Some jackass has stolen two of my drinks out of the work fridge. Yes, I get made fun of for my slightly passive-aggressive note. But I still have my drink at the end of the day since I started doing this.

Asshole never copped to doing it, either. I wouldn’t fuck with me either when I’m thirsty.

Who the Hell Puns in their Sleep?!?!

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Me.

I do.

I’ve not been sleeping well lately. More accurately, I’ve not been sleeping for long periods in the morning but I do have loads of REM sleep, complete with weird dreams.

Last week I again dreamt that I was a man, and it was perfectly normal in the dream. Forget the details now, as you do, but I remember noting that I wasn’t even me in the dream.

This morning, I was the interviewer for a TV documentary on a famous person. I wish it was someone real, but I don’t think it was. It was a man, and rather heavy-set and intelligent. I think he was an actor. Much like the amazing Stephen Fry, but it wasn’t him. I was there to document his unusual hobby, which was candle-making.

In dream space, there was lots of time doing camera angles, set up, questions, etc. It went on for a while, perfectly normal – as if I have a clue what being a TV interviewer entails.

Eventually, cameras rolling, a young man walks in. The star stops and says, “Oh, I’d like you to meet my assistant. He’s been invaluable. This is Chandler.”

I woke up immediately, laughing out loud.

Ugh.

Sigh.

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Leaving work tonight, I had to put a few things in the trunk/boot of the Mini. Opened it up, leaned forward to toss in the stuff. WHACK. I bounced my forehead off the thin edge of the deck, shouted an appropriate word, staggered back a few steps… my lovely work lads walked with me over to the light to see if I was bleeding (nope). I do have quite a sore lump there. Looks like I’m trying to grow just one horn. It’s not even in the damn middle of my quite expansive forehead.

My guess is that the cold temps tonight kept the hydraulic hinges from opening all the way. It’s never done that before, and it is very dark behind the building, so I didn’t even look.

Won’t trust the boot again. Especially in the dark. Ow.

Help needed from Ireland and England!

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What the HELL is tearing up my garden?

All along the walls in our back garden, something has been digging. This was a month ago:

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This was two weeks ago:

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It’s much, much worse now. What the hell could it be? It’s not birds, or cats, or our dog. I doubt a fox or badger would come in our wee space – the gate is very low and the space is small and reeks of dog.

Could we have a resident hedgehog? What the hell else could be doing this? Helppppp :)

Overly-friendly People are a Danger to Themselves

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I just don’t know how to even tell this story…

Ye know I work in a warehouse. We have drivers that come in to do home deliveries, and I see the same set of fellows at least once a day as they load up (or drop of returns, my area). So, I’ve gotten to know all of our drivers, as you do, and have the craic with them on a daily basis.

The second explanation needed to tell this story is that the sales team, in the office, rarely will come out into the warehouse. The team happens to be all women, and one in particular is a very outspoken, jocular kind of woman (and is rather loud to boot). She’s never timid about coming out to the warehouse and shouting for whomever she is looking for.

In this case, today, it was me.

Herself comes out to my returns area and tells me what she needs ta, and while there we all have a bit of a chat with one of the drivers, who is also leaving me returns.

I couldn’t tell you what exactly she and he were talking about, but as she left, she gave him a playful punch in the shoulder… she’s that kinda gal.

What she didn’t realise is that he only has one arm, and she had punched his plastic prosthesis.

Her: thwack! “OW!!!”

I don’t know who laughed harder: me, the one-armed driver, or the other driver who witnessed it all. I know I about pissed myself.

This is why you don’t get touchy-feely with people you don’t know, just because you are a ‘girl’ and can get away with it!

Smelly Sunday Morning

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This wasn’t this past Sunday, but the one before. I woke up to find Spot had his arse right in my face, so I nudged hubby and got him to take pictures.

Please forgive my weird bedroom paint job – I was testing out colours and hated all of them. Maybe now that a few years have gone by, I’ll do something about it… HA!

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What’s that I smell?

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I think it might be…

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Cattbutt! Oh how lovely of Spot to share his distinctive aroma, eau de feces, with me!

The Pork I Buy lately looks… Odd.

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I think I’ll just leave this one as photos. Sorry Sled, I know you don’t eat meat. Maybe this is why not…

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Last week, my dinner…

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This week.

I think I need to start buying my pork loin elsewhere…

Bad jokes and puns strongly encouraged!