My one-year blogsversarry has come and gone. I wanted to write something fun, and funny, and I cannot. That’s why I haven’t posted a thing lately.

I’ve lost my funny.

I’ve lost my funny, and I’ve lost my art, and my words. All the things that brought us together via the blog.

All I have left at the moment are the cats.

Maybe it’s the epic book-journey I’ve been on, reading the Song of Ice and Fire books. (OMG the author looks like my dad!) I’m only on book four, and it’s been over a week. Or two? These are long books, so far every one over 800 pages hardback according to Wiki (I have digital versions so can’t be sure of a page count). I’m happy to have a place to go, and crave that world when I am away too long, but perhaps this level of escape is not the best for me?

However I think I know deep down what is bothering me. And it is an unsolvable problem, which bothers me more and makes it harder.

I read just a few of my early posts: just one or two, and I seem so different. Financially strapped, physically broken… but I was writing. Even just to hear myself speak, I was writing. And then I was drawing! A new format that excited me and opened new worlds and ideas.

And then I got a job and all that went away. Poof! And now instead of dreams that feed my creativity, I dream of computers and emails and Things I Forgot To Get Done. I wake and think of these things instead of marvelling at the strange song that was in my head.

So. I want to say a lot of things, but right now, I’m just a bit dark. I want to bitch about work but It Isn’t Safe. If I put up a password protected post, would anyone read it? Who really wants to hear me moan? I don’t even really bitch to iDJ as there is nothing he can do – and as a man, he would want to fix it. He’s just as trapped as I am, so other than leaving with a sigh and coming home somber or cranky, I don’t say anything.

I’m burnt to a crisp, but unlike my Irish brethren it actually suits me… I know that tonight/tomorrow my country will be filled with lobster-red uncomfortable people. Hehehehehh. Me? I’m done to a turn nicely. Yet another good Irish term…

I had my MRI today! Man, I’ve been through a few but maybe I blocked the memory or sommat… In any case, I was fully aware that I could not sit up, move my arms , or even open my eyes because seeing the ceiling of my prison was too scary… I’m usually only claustrophobic in crowds, but daaaaam, that’s a tight fit.

But again – because it was and is a nice warm day (despite the wind) I dressed in next to nothing, for me… A way-too-tight/small sports bra, a tank top (known as a vest here for reasons unknown to me) and best of all, a spandex ‘skorts’ thingamajig that Socks sent to me years ago.

Yep, I’m 40, and chubby… But half the battle is being confident, right? I looked awesome for an old fat chick. And! I actually made an effort and shaved me legs, woot… AND! Painted my toenails. I promise you, this is 100% a shot of me feets, right now!

Dogeen is NOT impressed! She wants the good stuff she smells cooking.

What do you all think about Twitter? I’ve apparently had an account since 2009 but never used it… But I do have a lot of short, random ideas that aren’t worth a full blog post, but are toounwieldy for a FB update… who uses Twitter? Do you like it? Should I bother? I’m only tempted now because Betty White is on twitter and she is just the bomb…

I would just like to say that I’m quite drunk & happy about it, despite the hubby forcing me to listen to/watch crap TV. Happy evening/afternoon to you all, and thank Apple for corrective text! I’d be all over the shop otherwise…