I hope you remember this guy?
It turns out that Puking Man has a big brother. Peeing Man!
Wow, just wow. An ISO graphical symbol for a man whizzing into a plastic bag! I had no idea that they could top The Puker, but they have.
Sorry to disappoint, but there isn’t a baggie for the ladies. I looked. But, I promise that if the make an ISO graphic of someone using a female urinal, you will be the first to know.
I asked our shop assistant if she’d ever noticed the little people that were doing odd things on the boxes… she had not. This display is only a few steps from the cash register. Hmm, brightly coloured illustrations of cartoon people demonstrating funny bodily functions into rather awkward conveniences. How could she not have seen them? Then again, she never saw me laughing and taking the photo, either… at least I gave her a giggle, and confirmed in her mind that I am not quite right.
And then, there is the new hand soap in the bathroom at work. We end up with lots of different medical-grade hand washing goop, of course (samples abound, being in the medical supply business and all). But I’m not about to try this one.
Doesn’t that scare you a bit, too? I have to say ‘no’ to using hand-soap that specifically mentions not to get it ON MY BRAIN. Shit, that über-specific warning isn’t even on the ‘Patient Information Leaflet’ – it’s right on the front of the damn bottle! I don’t even want to look at the bottle now for fear my meninges might get some of it on them – or on it – whatever.
You would truly hope that anyone who knows what meninges (I had to Google, yep) are would also know what cutaneous (I did not have to Google, nope) means. Nothing about ‘cutaneous’ means you should consider injecting it into a human joint, or lather up a brain or spinal cord. I am not, not! going to Google how they found out that doing either was a really bad idea.
I have to say that while the winter and spring have been windier and wetter than usual for most of Ireland, it has been pretty much the same old, same old around my part of Mayo. While Cork was sinking underwater and Limerick was blowing away, I had a plant fall over a few times and the empty rubbish bin went for a short roll about the back garden.
Its also not been particularly cold. Light snow a couple of days, frost in the morning occasionally. I’ve taken photos of the white stuff every time I could, but that’s not been often.
Once on the way to work, I was surprised to suddenly find a bit of slush on the road – there was none just a few miles away where I live.
One day at work, the snow came down quite hard. But it didn’t stick long enough for us to even have a snowball fight (dammit).
The second week of February, it snowed more at home than at work for a change. When I went upstairs to get out of my monkey suit (work clothes), I saw the tracks I’d left backing into the driveway.
Nearly perfect job I did, if I say so myself! It looked so strange I had to get a picture. Ears? A flower? What do you think? If I get some creative ideas I could try to make some art out of this. I need some inspiration!
I was going to put up a few more, but I think I’ll save them for their own post. Artsy-fartsy stuff, you know!
I’ve been holding on to these photos since summer 2012! I wasn’t in a blogging mood then, but it seems I’m getting back into the swing of things.
iDJ and I had driven out to Urlaur Lake, so I could go snorkelling. Unfortunately the place was jam-packed, and there were even two dammed Jet-Ski’s out on the water, rocketing around, scaring the swans and fish. Um, no: I don’t desire to have my underwater magic world soundtracked by whining engines. Plus we had Dogzilla with us, and she is terrified of children – of which there were many.
So we went off in search of something else to do. On the way, I got to experience my first traffic-jam, County Mayo style!
Don’t you just love that the cattle were being moved along by bicycle? The cows are taking up both lanes, too – clearly not too many other cars had been up or down the road recently.
(Yes, we are geeks, and R2-D2 talks when you bop him on the head.)
Interesting that the cattle had nearly all moved to the correct side of the road after passing us – except for that one big brown girl who can just barely be seen on the left. She was all about the tasty road-grass.
The white/blue-grey one with the eyeshadow that was giving iDJ the stink-eye was bigger than our Mini Cooper. Yikes.
I was in the passenger seat, repeating ‘ohshitohshitohshit’ under my breath, while smiling like crazy at the experience of seeing a herd of cattle parting around the car. ‘Don’t knock the wing mirrors off! Please…? Gooood cows, niiiice cows!’ No damage was done to the Mini – unless you count the poop-splatters acquired further up the road.
Some jackass has stolen two of my drinks out of the work fridge. Yes, I get made fun of for my slightly passive-aggressive note. But I still have my drink at the end of the day since I started doing this.
Asshole never copped to doing it, either. I wouldn’t fuck with me either when I’m thirsty.
It’s been cold lately, and even though she has a thick fur coat, the dog refuses to understand that she is only allowed on the couch when she is invited. She’s been in a slow shed since about August, so is definitely not welcome on my awesome couch.
After I caught her sneaking up there while I was still home, I started leaving things in the way so she would take the damn hint. Sometimes it would be a random ladder that was to hand (what, you don’t have ladders just leaning around in your living room?), but lately it has been a couple of empty boxes.
Of course, the cats were in ecstasy that I had boxes just leaning around in my living room. But it got better when I put them on the couch. Double the fun!
This morning I had another brilliant idea. I tucked a corner of the blanket that lives on the couch into the box before I left for work. Nine hours later, I come home and iDJ immediately asks me, “Guess where Spotty is?”
I have turned Spot into the happiest cat in Ireland.
Laser-eyes courtesy of the iPhone flash: needed as it is lovely and dark and warm and soft in the box now.
I’ve not been sleeping well lately. More accurately, I’ve not been sleeping for long periods in the morning but I do have loads of REM sleep, complete with weird dreams.
Last week I again dreamt that I was a man, and it was perfectly normal in the dream. Forget the details now, as you do, but I remember noting that I wasn’t even me in the dream.
This morning, I was the interviewer for a TV documentary on a famous person. I wish it was someone real, but I don’t think it was. It was a man, and rather heavy-set and intelligent. I think he was an actor. Much like the amazing Stephen Fry, but it wasn’t him. I was there to document his unusual hobby, which was candle-making.
In dream space, there was lots of time doing camera angles, set up, questions, etc. It went on for a while, perfectly normal – as if I have a clue what being a TV interviewer entails.
Eventually, cameras rolling, a young man walks in. The star stops and says, “Oh, I’d like you to meet my assistant. He’s been invaluable. This is Chandler.”
I woke up immediately, laughing out loud.
Leaving work tonight, I had to put a few things in the trunk/boot of the Mini. Opened it up, leaned forward to toss in the stuff. WHACK. I bounced my forehead off the thin edge of the deck, shouted an appropriate word, staggered back a few steps… my lovely work lads walked with me over to the light to see if I was bleeding (nope). I do have quite a sore lump there. Looks like I’m trying to grow just one horn. It’s not even in the damn middle of my quite expansive forehead.
My guess is that the cold temps tonight kept the hydraulic hinges from opening all the way. It’s never done that before, and it is very dark behind the building, so I didn’t even look.
Won’t trust the boot again. Especially in the dark. Ow.
I got a new iPad for Christmas – the iPad Air. It does some new stuff. One of the things it does is let you go backward in time in your photo stream, until you can see all of your photos by the year they were taken. Itty bitty photos.
I just loved seeing this! I’m so glad that my life has been awash in colours like these. Funny how seeing everything you found interesting for an entire year looks both small and huge at the same time.
So many photos you know! And so many you don’t. I’m pleased that I’ve clearly been taking more and more every year.
And yes, now my photo stream includes a photo of my photo stream…
Have a back boiler? Have a VERY dead Christmas tree? Heat your whole house in minutes with dead tree twigs! Yes! You too can escape the low temperatures by burning the shit out of that dead thing you paid good money for! Just trim here, trim there, and toss onto your already-glowing coals! It couldn’t be easier. Call now!*
It was foggy Wednesday night, so much so that on my way home from work, I turned on the car’s fog light. This is a thing new to me since I emigrated to Ireland. It’s one blindingly red light under just one taillight at the back of your car, and it shows up really well in the fog. I didn’t have anyone come up behind me to test how well it worked. I could see that the cat’s eyes in the road behind me were now blood red. Did you know that the cat’s eye centre marker was invented by an Irishman? Now you do.
Anyhoo. The thick fog and 1° C temp meant that the car was covered in a thin sheen of ice on Thursday morning. It wasn’t a bother to me. I lived in Ohio for years, so a skin of ice is nothing at all. Snow deep enough to cover your license plate? That’s a bother.
But back to the ice. It was dammed beautiful from inside the Mini. I got in, sat down and said wow.
I’d already started the car so had to rush like mad to take these before the defroster melted it away.
The short and beautiful life of windscreen (windshield) frost.