Category Archives: Humour

Still Got a Ganglion – Hear it Roar!

Standard

I had an appointment at the local hospital today. I was all excited, and thought for sure I’d be coming home with a groovy new scar. Sadly, I was disappointed. Instead, I first had an assessment by a fun Indian doctor (we so had the craic) and he sent me off for X-rays.

    Sweet! I LOVE X-rays! 

      
    The pen tip on the right is pointing at the cyst, which doesn’t show up in an X-ray. I can kinda see it? Maybe.

    I was wondering about the round density next to the first joint of my thumb, and my dad asked about it too, so off to the ‘net I went. It is a sesamoid bone (named because they are usually the shape of a sesame seed – I’ll never forget that name, now) and perfectly normal, if slightly mysterious: ‘Sesamoid bones are small more or less rounded masses embedded in certain tendons and usually related to joint surfaces. Their functions probably are to modify pressure, to diminish friction, and occasionally to alter the direction of a muscle pull.’ [emphasis mine, source is courtesy of bartleby.com]

    This is why I love seeing my innards! So educational. 

      
    Side view! I am probably strange, but I think these are rather pretty. And fascinating as hell. It’s astounding that this – my right hand, responsible for the majority of the things I do every day – looks so fragile. Check out the thickness of my ulna and radius in each picture (long arm bones, just in case you aren’t a nerd like me). My thumb bone is thicker than both of them in the side view. That is crazy. From the top view, they are nearly parity with the thickness-win going to the radius. So surprising I’ve never broken any bones but my pinkie toes (not for lack of trying).

    I also like that the veins I can see through the skin on my thumb show up here, too. And all the tendons that must be doing one hell of a job because those bones are…bony.

    Anyhoo, after my irradiation the main doctor who runs the clinic came in. She had a trio of young women trailing behind her, and asked if they could observe. Well, sure! Doc asked a few questions, poked at my still-unnamed cyst (because not one of you gave me a name last time I talked about it, for shame), and said they would schedule me for surgery. Under general anesthetic. I whined (I’ll admit it) when she was leaving; “But…I want to see!”

    Hope you enjoyed these pics as much as I did! Thanks to Dr M for letting me take shots of the X-rays with my phone, changing the operation directive from general to local because I want to see, having a laugh with me, and being able to pronounce my whole damn name with no hesitation (that is huge, let me tell ya). He’s a good doctor, I hope he goes good places.

    Now let’s see how long it takes to get to the next level! October 20, 2015 and counting. 

    Now You are in Trouble! Cat Videos 24/7?

    Standard

    Bwah ha ha! Now I have the power! The power to make you all look at videos of my cats. Yes!!!

    Next in the rotation is a (sideways, sorry) clip of my boys being disgusting.

    Disgustingly cute!

    [youtube:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKZwaDDs4fI?rel=o&w=560&h=315%5D%5D

    I’m pretty sure this video is a few years old, but they still have a mutual admiration society of two.

    Love these guys to bits.

    Deth Nog 2015!

    Standard

    Every time I type it that way, I feel like I’m talking about a bad movie – Death Race 2000, now that I think about it. But I’m not posting about racecars, and David Carradine isn’t involved. It’s all about the Nog, baby!

    Every year I make at least one batch of seriously potent eggnog. It’s my dad’s recipe, so it has to be good – and strong! 

    Half the fun of making it is drawing on the jug(s). This tradition started a long, long time ago when my mother accidentally put Nog into her morning coffee instead of milk. I sure hope she wasn’t planning to drive that morning!

    It seems I didn’t post this last year, which is odd, because I did in 2013, 2012, and twice in 2011. I’m reposting the recipe below, but the links are fun if you want to see the “art” on each year’s jugs.

    Since I forgot, this is last year’s design. I used some super-quick photoshop to remove our real names from the middle stripe of the baubles, so it’s a bit sloppy looking:

      
    Okay, a lot sloppy-looking!

    And this year, back to traditional skulls:

      
    And on to how to pleasantly poison yourself! This is NOT low fat, NOT low calorie, and NOT virginal! This year I used Jameson Whisky, Hennessy, and… cheap supermarket rum. 

    As always, I have both a US and Not-US version.

    US version:

    (need an empty 1 gallon milk jug)

    1 cup (1/2 pint) each of:

    Brandy

    Blended whiskey

    Rum (not light or dark* – do not use spiced rum, yuck!)

    4-6 whole eggs – depends on how big they are, of course

    2 cups (1 pint) heavy cream

    1/4 to 1/2 cup sugar (I think I hit about the middle between the two)

    1/4 teaspoon each cinnamon and nutmeg (may need a bit more, I didn’t have the measure written down! Dad said start with 1/4 and add more if you think it needs it. I’ve used as much as whole teaspoon of each and it was fine.)
    Beat eggs until smooth.

    Add cream and a bit of the milk, doesn’t matter how much but not TOO much just yet!

    Add all the alcohol. Add the sugar.

    Stir until the sugar melts.

    Add nutmeg and cinnamon.

    Pour into empty 1 gallon jug, top up with milk until jug is full.

    Shake well!
    Not-US Version: Okay, same thing but converted into metric! Doesn’t matter if it isn’t perfect, it’ll be tasty.

    (need two empty 2-litre milk jugs)

    237ml each of:

    Brandy

    Blended whiskey

    Rum (not light or dark* – do not use spiced, yuck!)

    4-6 whole eggs – depends on how big they are, of course

    473ml heavy cream

    4 to 8 tablespoons sugar (I think I hit about the middle between the two)

    1/4 teaspoon each cinnamon and nutmeg (may need a bit more, I didn’t have the measure written down! Dad said start with 1/4 and add more if you think it needs it. I’ve used as much as whole teaspoon of each and it was fine.)
    Beat eggs until smooth.

    Add cream and a bit of the milk, doesn’t matter how much but not TOO much just yet!

    Add all the alcohol. Add the sugar.

    Stir until the sugar melts.

    Add nutmeg and cinnamon.

    Pour into empty jugs, try to put the same amount in each, oh how fun, top up with milk until jugs are full.

    Shake well!
    * I can’t find ‘not light and not dark’ rum here; I just use the white or clear rum. 

    Please let me know if you try it! 

    Cat Butts Catbutts – Where? Here!

    Standard

    I did a post back in November 2012 about things you could actually buy that feature cat-butts. A lot of the things I featured are still for sale. Original post is here: Catbutts, catbutts, everywhere! 

    So why am I talking about Catbutts again? Not just because I see them hourly, but because if you remember that post, or have a look now, I was rather sad that my mom’s beloved sweatshirt wasn’t being made anymore. Not that I could find, anyway.

    Well! I was wrong, and somehow my old post attracted the attention of the artist. I’ll apologise now, for not doing this sooner as she left two comments on that original post saying, “I’m still here, I made this!” but my brain is like a watermelon – squishy and pinkish, and full of seeds. 

    Um. I’m not very good at analogies. 

    I’m a bit forgetful, how is that? 

    Let me finally rectify this. The shirt is still available, in many colours, at Meow.com – and it is as fabulous as ever. Or better – the full colour one is very impressive! 

      (Photo from meow.com website)

    Anna, Head Cat Herder and artist/designer: I’m sorry again for not doing this sooner. At least you know someone out there still has one of your shirts from way back before the Internet even existed. 

    My mom LOVED hers. Thank you for making her giggle so much.

    Buy one for your loved one with a silly sense of humour – you won’t regret it! 

    Ganglion Aft A-gley

    Standard

    I went to the doctor today for the lump in my wrist. Said lump has come and gone for years. Usually it hangs around for a week or two and goes back into hiding. Well, this time I have had about five months of looking like I have a second ulna-knob. Hehe, I said knob. It has been aching at work, and if I whack it on something I don’t cry (I do not cry) but I get angry at the pain, which isn’t fun for anyone. 

    On Sunday I tried to open a jar and not only did it bloody well hurt, it kinda popped inside my wrist in a very unsettling way. That was enough for me to give up and go for professional help. If I can’t open a damn jar, how can I do my job safely with all the lifting and pulling?
      
    Like my new socks? How about the doggie feet? Action shot!

    Doc says it is a ganglion cyst. Not the biggest she’s seen, but not the smallest either (I have another on the side of my right wrist and don’t care about that one as it is sooo weee). 

    Ganglion cysts are pockets of thick goo that grow on the sheath to your tendon. Sounds fun! I can’t find the website Doc showed me, but basically you can aspirate it (suck the goo out), or you can pop it (drop a heavy-ass book on it and hope! Doc did make a quip about Bible-bashing, I swear she did! Awesome). But in either of those options, the pocket is still there and likely to refill.

    So – surgery it is! It doesn’t worry me, and dudes dig scars, so I’m now on the waiting list. The question is – what should we name my passenger before I cut it out? 

    Ha! No the real question is – how long is the wait? Might as well ask how long is a piece of string. I’ll know when I know, and probably with only a few days to a week of notice. Of course I had to post about it today as proof of the time frame. It will be much more interesting to see how long it takes!

    I really hope I can take pictures. I totally want to see what this bad girl looks like. Any glimpse of the rest of my wrist-mechanics is also a draw for me! Stay tuned, kids!

    Sometimes You Just Have To

    Standard

    Have to buy something that is so terrible, it is good.

      
    This is an Official Leprechaun (the Movie) Halloween decoration. It’s one of those hanging thingies, and I don’t have a place to hang it, but it was just SO bad I had to buy it.

    I just tossed the elastic over the top of the kitchen door, and it’s still there. Managed to startle iDJ once! Hehehe.

      
    What every Irish household needs! Especially for €2.99. Who of you could resist?

    Ghost

    Standard

    Hubby came home early from the pub Saturday night.

    He walked in the door, took a wobbly double take at me sitting in the living room, and promptly told me that I’m not allowed to talk to him because he is a ghost.

    He’s a ghost because usually I wouldn’t have the opportunity to hear his random blather for another two hours, and I’d be asleep by then and avoid it entirely.

    Somehow being an incorporeal being (instead of just, um, early home) made the most sense to him.

    Love that nutter.